Day #53 & 53: The I am Worth More Challenge & Making an Example!

Hey cupcakes! (you like that? :)

Well yesterday officially marked the end of the I AM WORTH MORE CHALLENGE!

I can't wait to hear how it went for the rest of you who participated but I really feel like I showed the scale who was boss this week- no joke- there were at least 3 times that I was *this* close to looking but I didn't because I realized that it would be defeating the entire purpose of the challenge- to not allow the scale to trump over our success and determination.

For the Project 365 newbies (*hello to all the new followers btw!*) everyone participating in the challenge was to write down the things that they did this week that were evidences of the positive changes they have made in their journey to get healthy and stick them on top of their scale so that at the end of the week they would recognize that it is the small choices we make (and not just a #) that determines whether we have succeeded or not!

Ready to see my post-it note covered scale??????? Well here ya go!!! and a close up....
For me this challenge really wasn't about learning anything specific per se, but more about not allowing the scale to have power over me (whether it be to weigh myself more than once a week or to ruin/make my day the the # it shows me) and I definitely think that was accomplished.

It is my hope that for everyone that participated in this challenge that at your next week's weigh in when you step on the scale, regardless of what # it shows you, that you will see the invisible post-its that you could have put on your scale of the good decisions you have made and not allow the # you are shown to make you overly anything. Celebrate the victories, deal with the disappointments, and no matter what- keep moving forward!

And now onto a not so happy subject- but most def NECESSARY... last Friday I wrote about Failing Forward and about how we need to view our failures as necessary hurdles we must overcome in order for the process of long-term weight loss to work- well last night I definitely made an example of myself!

My friend and I were co-throwing a game night and we made sure that there were lots of healthy snacks (carrots, celery, hummus, apples, salsa, flax seed tortilla chips, my yummy spinach dip, etc.) and because Sunday's are the days I don't track (I still eat exactly the same as the rest of the week, I just take a break from writing it all down and counting calories) and I had already decided to allow the snacks to be my dinner, I was doing really good! Then one of our friends came over who thought we would be serving an actual dinner and not just snacks, was very hungry, and begged us to order pizza. I think you know where this is going... lo and behold by the end of the night I had eaten 2 slices of bacon, chicken, ranch pizza. Errrgh.

On the drive home and when I woke up this morning eating those slices came back to haunt me (both via a grumpy tomach and guilt!); this was the first real time since like my 2nd post that I've done something like this. Let me clarify- I've eaten things that weren't healthy on this journey but never without really thinking about it first, weighing the costs, and making the decision to and adjusting how I'd eat the rest of the day. This was just a "I don't care, I'm not even hungry, but I'm gonna have a slice of pizza" decision. And as soon as the thought about the pizza this morning became a "see, this is just proof that sonner or later you won't be able to maintain this healthy lifestyle," I knew this was an opportunity to jump over a hurdle in my journey and fail forward.

Remember my little formula for jumping over hurdles? Accept, Understand, & Plan? Well, I guess I'll use last night as an example of how this works for me:
* Accept: I accept that last night was a DECISION that I (and only I) made. It doesn't matter that I didn't want to order pizza, I chose to eat it. This wasn't an accident or a slip up, it was a decision. And just like I chose to eat that pizza, I can chose to not do that in the future down this road to success.
* Understand: I know that I need to understand why I ate this pizzza... I think I ate it because... I could. Sometimes I allow the little progress I've made to make me think that I'm at the place where I can do these things- UM HELLO- I still weight over 300lbs! I wasn't thinking, I didn't allow myself to think about anything otherwise I wouldn't have done it. I ate mindlessly- that is the bottom line.
* Plan: In the future, I'm going to follow the rules I've been following- when I see a food that I would like to eat but don't think it's a wise decision I'll remove myself from the situation (go into the other room) and decide if this is a decision I really want to make- 9 times out of 10 I get a grip and move on. I also need to be mindful that just because I've figured out a lot of this journey doesn't mean I'm "home free;" there is no value in learning anything if it is not implemented.

In the end I'm choosing to be thankful that last night happened and I'm viewing it as a necessary lesson and hurdle that had to be jumped- not it is my choice to decide whether I will jump and move past this hurdle or allow it to keep knocking me back down- I'm guessing ya'll know which choice I'm making :)

So- that's one more lesson learned in this long journey- and as always, I'm moving forward, ready to tackle another week!

So how did the challenge go for everyone? I can't wait to see the scale pics on your blogs! If you didn't participate, thanks for reading about the challenge and for all of the encouragement!

I leave you all with a pic that was take at the party last night. The one below it was taken w/ basically some of the same people at another game night in november... see any change?
Last Night: (The sleeves are a bit misleading, they like...fan out!)
and in November... Peace Out Lovelies!

Day #51: Failing Forward

Today I had an epiphany and I am SO excited to share it with you all!!!

A healthy and fit lifestyle. This is what we are all really desiring here right? This is the overall goal. Sure weight-loss may seem like the goal but really, weight loss is just a part of being healthy and being fit; if we are ever going to maintain any substantial weight loss than it will be through staying fit and healthy- these 2 things are really what are goals are about right? Right.

For many of us when we set out on this journey or are in the beginning phases we learn what it means to be healthy and fit and what it will take to get us there. We learn what foods should be avoided and which ones are full of nutrients and should be added to our lives. We set goals, we understand that getting active is a necessary component to success on this journey, and we implement a whole list of new changes into our lives- all for the purpose of becoming more healthy, losing weight, and becoming fit.

And at the same time that we are learning all of these new things and changing we begin to come up against our old habits; we realize that the old cravings don't just go away because we have bought healthy food, we don't suddenly have an extra hour in the day to exercise just because we intend to, and all of the situations, events, and circumstances in our lives don't bow down in submission to the new healthy way of life that we seek. Simply put- it's hard.

Inevitably at the beginning stages of our journey's we run into situation after situation where we "screw up"- we eat wayyy too much food at a party that we hadn't planned on, life get's crazy and we find ourselves not going to the gym for a week, or we find it too hard to silence the voice of our favorite food calling to us from the fridge and we give in- and then we feel like failures. And doesn't it seem that every time one of these circumstances occur and we have totally screwed up that it is just further proof that we will never be able to change- that no matter how many goals we set or how badly we want it- it's not going to happen. Yes, it's easy to feel like that when we've been living below our potential.

But you know what I figured out this morning (aka- the ephiphany)? Every one of those screw ups are ABSOLUTELY 100% NECESSARY to our long-term success. No joke. It's absolutely crazy to think that someone can live 20 or 30 years of their life one way and then all of a sudden completely switch everything about their lives because they made 1 decision.

Like I said, life doesn't just bow down and submit to our goals- we have to navigate through life with our goals being our guide; and if we want our healthy and fit lifestyles to be something that is forever, we've got to learn to overcome those things that will FOREVER be there to try and trip us up. And how on earth can you learn to navigate these things if you never experience them? I am absolutely convinced that the pitfalls that happen to us in these beginning phases (and sometimes middle) are just a part of the process.

I don't know who ever told me that only those who are perfect can succeed at losing weight- but that is surely what I believed and what I'm sure many of you still (even subconsciously) believe. Well I am hear to tell you today that is a BIG FAT LIE. Life comes packed full of social peer pressure eating situations, disappointing scale results, injuries, family craziness, and disappointment and those things should be viewed as GIFTS when encountered on this journey because they are necessary hurdles that have got to be jumped in order to cross the finish line and stay there- and it doesn't matter how many times you have to try to jump over a specific hurdle- as long as you eventually jump it!

I think everyone has a different set of necessary lessons that they've got to learn (and fail from) in order to be successful, but there are lots that are common to us all; some that I've failed in, learned from, and jumped over in this journey so far have been:
- Wanting to eat because I am emotional and stressed.
- Fearing what others may think of me at the gym.
- Social peer pressure eating.
- Learning that a craving is a just a suggestion, not a command.
- Realizing that "cheating" in my food choices is really only cheating myself.
- Not allowing the # on the scale to determine how I feel about myself and how I'm doing.
- Not allowing the craziness of my schedule or circumstances to dictate my health.
- Move past motivation to dedication. I don't wait for goosebumps or surges of motivation to do something anymore.
- Fearing change.

I challenge you to look back at your journey thus far (and even where you are at now) and consider some of the challenges you've faced and the things that you've viewed as moments of failure; now redefine those things in your mind not as weakenesses that are going to come back to knock you on your butt at any moment, but as NECESSARY hurdles that you HAD to encounter in order to move forward. If you haven't been able to jump that hurdle yet, well figure it out! But don't get down on yourself just because you HAVE hurdles- they are NECESSARY!

When I do something that I'm not proud of or that I knew wasn't a step forward- I will do these 3 little steps so that I can jump over the hurdle in the future and not be knocked down by it again:
1) Accept that it was a DECISION I made and not the result of my circumstances, fate, or an accident.
2) Understand why I did it; was I feeling tired, was I just not thinking, did I just not care?
3) Plan for the future. If you continually are getting punched in the face by the same hurdle and you don't put a plan in place in order to jump it successfully in the future, why should you be suprised when the same thing keeps happening over and over again?

Accept- Understand- Plan.

Alright, hopefully I didn't bore you all too much but this was seriously something that I needed to figure out and write down. For those of you who have lost a significant amount of weight (Diane, Cammy, Dawne, etc.) maybe you can share your thoughts on this too! I am just so excited to view these things as I've formerly looked at as failures as necessary hurdles that I've jumped (or am going to jump) over on this road to success.

I leave you with some pics from this weekend:

This was my lunch today. Do you see the BROCCOLI!!?! HAHA- even though this portion is quite laughable, some of you know that this is a major accomplishment for me! No joke- this is the first time in the 4 months I've been on this journey that I have prepared a vegetable with a meal! Snaps to me! The verdict? I put some lemon juice and parmesan on top of them and ... it wasn't too bad. And you must know, me saying that probably means they taste wonderful- I just haven't developed a pallet for veggies just yet, but I'm not giving up! :)

And finally, here is a pic of my sweaty mug after my workout! I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, 15 on the cycle plus, 15 on the hybrid bike, and about 15 minutes of strength training- it was a bum kicker of a workout fo sho!

Alright ya'll make this one great weekend! :)

p.s. I most likely won't be posting tomorrow, it's going to be a very full day but I'll see you all on Monday with a pic of my post-it note covered scale! Can't wait to see your scales as well!!!! :)

Day #50: I'm a little tea bag...

Hi loves!

I'm glad that so many of you are enjoying the challenge! I've gotta say that today I was tempted to weigh myself, but I resisted- I want to be able to finish this challenge and say that I really gave it all I had, which includes not looking. One thing that is hard to remember is that the # on the scale is still going to be that # whether we look or not.

And now some bad news- I got laid off from work yesterday. It was a definite surprise but honestly they couldn't have done me a bigger favor; I really just wasn't happy working there and I was already looking for another position. So although this came a bit sooner than I had expected, I am looking forward to what's next.

I can't help but find it a bit ironic though that this was a classic example of the "4th Pitiful Pitfall" that I wrote about last week which cause people to give up on their weight loss goals, which was: when life throws a curve ball.

A few hours after I had been let go I was meeting a friend at Olive Garden for dinner and all I wanted to do was get the cheesiest most carby plate of pasta that I could- I figured that I deserved it b/c of the traumatic and stressful situation I had just encoutered and that somehow I would be getting some sort of revenge. Don't ask me on who- but that's definitely what I felt like doing- that is; however, not what I did. Instead, I ate a healthy meal and the only "splurge" I made was eating 2 breadsticks and 2 of the mini chocolates the waiter brings with your bill.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't put a substantial amount of my self-worth on feeling needed and that the things I do matter- so waking up this morning unemployed definitely wasn't the greatest feeling in the world. Furthermore, thoughts like this were continutally flowing through my mind: "How are you going to be able to afford healthy food? You need to watch your budget now!" and "Things are just too crazy right now, you need to make finding a job your #1 priority and worry about all of this "healthiness" stuff when you've got everything sorted out."

I've always liked this saying: "People are like tea bags, you never know what is inside of them until they are put in hot water."

These last 2 days have proven to me that the changes that I've been noticing in myself aren't just an illusion; they are real and they are forever.

I no longer go to italian restaurants and pig out; not because I "shouldn't," but because that's just not me anymore. I not only want to lose this weight but I need to and I've truly truly truly changed. Circumstances like these would have knocked the old Tiffany right on her butt and back into the McDonald's drive thru- BUT NOT ANYMORE. Today I hit the gym for over an hour of cardio and it felt truly wonderful; excercise has become my stress reliever and a new source of accomplishment.

In the last few days I have leanred what I know is such an important lesson: When circumstances occur that could potentially ruin you, simply view them as an opportunity to demonstrate to yourself your determination to a new way of life.

Now that I have done this very thing I am more assured than ever that I will succeed on this journey. I know I will. Not to say that it doesn't scare the heck out of me- but for the first time I am actually beginning to believe it.

When you're put in the hot water of life, what will the result be?

Day #49: Challenge Progress, Taco Bell Victory, and a Product Review :)

Ch-ch-ch-Change.

What a crazy, scarey, but great word. As I've been doing the I AM WORTH MORE CHALLENGE this week, "change" is a word that is continually running through my mind. As you all know, myself along with some of my best bloggy friends, have been writing down all of our good choices and steps that we take forward on post it notes and will put them on our scale at the end of the week so that we can adjust our thinking from believing that a number alone tells us how much progress we are making instead of the small decisions we make every day.

Isn't it our obsession with the little 3 digit # on the scale funny? Well- I'm over it and that's part of the reason I chose to start this challenge. I remember a few weeks back I had really made some huge strides during the week- I worked out (something that is still fairly new to me), ate so well, and just overall saw some really great changes in my body; however, when I stood on the scale that Sunday morning the scale showed that I had gained 4lbs- immediately all of the confidence and empowerment I had felt was flushed down the toilet because of a dang # (that fluctuates like the dickens).

This week as I've been writing the small yet good things that I've done on those post it notes I just keep thinking- "Wow, this is definitely a small thing in retrospect but it is such a BIG change from what I used to do!" For example, today a co-worker wanted to go get lunch and he drove right up to a Taco Bell- at first I was nervous but I just decided to order 2 chicken soft tacos from the fresco menu and a diet pepsi (330 calories). Now on one hand I could get on myself for even eating fast food, but no- I wrote that decision down on a post it because you know what? 4 months ago I would have went to Taco Bell and ordered my old favorite: 2 Chalupa Supremes, a hard taco and a large Pepsi (1,130 calories). That's an 800 calorie difference and definitely post it note worthy!

For those of you participating in the challenge- don't just write down the things that you find amazing (like kicking butt on the elliptical), write down the small- but great- decisions that you make NOW that you would have NEVER made before you changed, and BE PROUD!

Alright, and now a product review! I'm sure many of you have tried the original Fiber One Oat's n' Chocolate bars- welllll Fiber One recently came out with a different bar for only 90 calories! And you know that when I saw these in the store (and had a coupon!) and saw that they had a peanut butter chocolate flavor I just had to give em' a shot!

The verdict: Eh...well they don't taste ANYTHING like the other Fiber One bars; on one hand that is good because they don't taste quite so...fibery- but they really just taste like... rice puffs- there's just not a lot of substance to them. They make be something good to satisfy a sweet tooth or snack attack but overall nothing amazing. I would give it a 3 out of 5- not good, not bad, but not great. Anyone else tried these yet?

Alright, that's about it for me for today! If you're apart of the I AM WORTH MORE CHALLENGE, this inquiring mind wants to know- how's it goin? Have you been tempted to sneak a peek at the scale? Learning anything yet?

Day #48: Silencing the Voices

For the last week, I've been hearing voices- well...just one voice really.

Wanna know what it says? "You can't do this- not for the long haul at least."

Ok well I'm not really hearing voices but I might as well be; multiple times throughout the last week I keep feeling afraid that the success that I've had so far won't last and that I will give up sooner or later. What is up with that?

I've given it a lot of thought and I think this is why I've been hearing that voice:

- I'm in the "middle phase" of this journey. At the beginning there is a lot of excitement and lots of new things to learn about but then you move past the motivation and begin to get into the "just do it" mode. I'm guessing that I need to be more excited that this is becoming second nature to me and not feeling like such drastic changes.

- I have gotten thrown out of my workout routine. Working out makes me feel accomplished and strong; it gives me goals and allows me to visibly see progress that I'm making. I know that I could be working out at home but being that I live with 3 roomates I am usually not too keen on shaking my booty to a work out DVD in front of them (especially my guy roomie!) It looks like the snow will be subsiding a bit this weekend so I will be happy to make it 2 or 3 times this weekend.

- I'm afraid. To be honest, when I began this journey, even though I had the best of intentions and wanted to do well, I really wasn't sure how it would go. The most weight I had ever lost before was like 12lbs or something- and I've lost 33lbs so far. It's a bit scarey to succeed because I think in the back of my mind I wonder if this is going to stop, if one day I will just give up, even though there is NOTHING inside of me that wants to.

You know what I have found to be one of the most ironic parts of weight loss? Is that people (including myself) dont' realize that the power of whether we succeed or fail is in the hands of one person- ourselves. So often, even though it is most likely subconsciously, we subscribe to the belief that things like our circumstances or fate is the thing that really determines whether we are successful or not. I've thought about it and I can come up with no other explanation for this other than that people are afraid to truly take FULL control over their temptations, cravings, and decisions because that will also mean they have to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY when they simply chose to ignore the good voice in their head that says to respect themselves and do what is right.

I hope I'm not sounding to harsh and I hope that I don't hurt anyone's feelings when I say this but I can't tell you how many blogs I read a day (and I'm sure you do to) where bloggers are writing about how they just went on a weekend long eating binge (for the 2nd time that month) and they see yet another gain and they feel horrible and will try better next time. And whether I get slack for this or not I've just gotta say that the only person that is causing that to become a pattern is that person! Believe me, I weighed 352lbs a few months ago and still weigh over 300 and I deal with the SAME temptations as anyone else does, but the time has to come where you tell yourself NO to food so that you can tell yourself YES to living a healthy life that you deserve.

I am NOT trying to be condescending but I truly care about this blogging community and I want to see everyone succeed! I understand how hard it is to say no to temptation or to get up off the couch and excercise, but I also know how much it SUCKS to be overweight.

Silence that voice in your mind after you've come off a weekend long binge that says you'll never be able to stop binging or that you'll never be successful- silence it with action! I refuse to listen to that same voice that's been telling me that sooner or later I'll give up because in reality, MY VOICE is the only one that matters for me in this journey.

A little tip that I could share for helping to say no to temptation or yes to working out is this 2 word phrase that I am CONSTANTLY telling myself when I'm playing with the idea of eating something I shouldn't or watching tv instead of going to the gym- the phrase is: NO CHOICE.

For me, NO CHOICE means that I'm not even going to toy with the idea of doing that unhealthy thing- the "maybe" factor has been removed for me and I not even allowing myself the ability to chose that unhealthy option. Just the other day I was walking by the cabinet that my office keeps snacks in and I saw a Reese's Peanut Butter cup that I really really realllyyyyy wanted; I even picked it up and unwrapped it and just before I was about to take a bite and remembered...NO CHOICE and I crumpled it up in my hand (yuck!) and threw it away. Now obviously that 90 cal treat wouldn't have ruined my weight but it was a matter of principle- that I didn't need it and I was really just eating it becasue it was there. It definitely wouldn't have constituted a step forward and since that is the direction I'm wanting to go- I just said no.

I realize that this is difficult and let me just set the record straight by saying: I AM BY NO MEANS PERFECT or have even fully grasped this concept- I just want to share some things I'm learning along the way and hopefully share some of the tools that I've picked so far to help me resist tempation so that we can all succeed in this together!

Still love me? :)

I did want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone for all of your vegetable suggestions on yesterday's post! Wow- what a wealth of knowledge you all are! Now, I know that it is a baby step and by no means the "best" way to go but look what I picked up at the grocery store yesterday!

I'm excited to get cookin- I'll be sure to show you guys the results!

MAKE today one that you are proud of!

Day #47: Tuesday Ramblings...

Heeyyyyyy-

Today I've just got a bunch of random thoughts/updates/ and questions for ya- once again the snow has turned my mind to mush so trying to actually formulate a good post was just out of the question this morning :)

The Challenge:

Well so far I've got quite the collection of sticky notes that I'm keeping in my planner: How is your collection coming along?

Excercise:

That 4th Pitiful Pitfall is definitely trying to bite me in the butt- there is NO way that I can make it to the gym when the weather is like it is here in Pitt and it sucks. Oh well, you've just gotta work with what ya got and I'm just making sure my eating is on point.

Smut:

So this is the 1st season that I've ever actually watched The Bachelor- mainly because the idea of any woman being okay w/ the guy she "wants to spend the rest of his life with" dating (and making out with) 20 other girls just makes me want to punch them all in the face.

But somewhow I got sucked into this season and it's definitely interesting to say the least. Here's where I stand: Jake is cute and well meaning but kind of stupid- granted he is more emotionally aware then 90% of men in the world, but still he's a bit jaded. Between Tenley and Vienna...I've gotta go with Tenley even though I don't think he is quite as interested in her. Oh the important things in life :)

Veggie Amateur:

Ok so I'm about to sound realllllyyyyy naive but I need some advice on how to cook veggies and even more how to make them taste good. So you can steer me in the right direction let me give you some Tiffany-veggie history: I've literally only tried a few veggies in my life and I absolutely no idea how to cook them. I am guessing that I would like them more cooked than hard and crunchy and I would be very suprised if I could just eat any vegetable without putting something else on it to make it taste better. Don't judge- my taste buds just aren't accostumed to them yet :) Here are some of the veggies I've been wanting to try: Asparagus, broccoli, edamame, squash, and that's about all I can think of! lol So- anyone have any sure fire picky eater ways to make veggies taste delish? Teach me your ways! lol

Jazzercise:

I know some of you have asked about whether I ever made it to that jazzercise class- and in case you are a newer follower, a while back I wrote about the opportunity that I had to take a jazzercise class- needless to day, it just never worked out. My evening schedule + the class schedule= impossible. Not that I was too broken hearted- I feel like my time (and money) is better spent at the gym for now anyways.

Alright folks, that's all I've got for you today- move forward today and celebrate the accomplishments (however "insignificant" they may seem) because enough of those and you WILL meet your goals!

Progress:

I'm only 2lbs away from losing 10% of myself- holy crap.

I'm only 4lbs away from my next progress pic and from my February goal!

I'm 19lbs away from being out of the 300's- just so you know, I will be FREAKING out when I see a 2 at the beginning of my weight. I honestly DO NOT REMEMBER the last time I weighed 200 something. Ahhhhh we shall see :)

Peace and Love :)

Day #46: Looking Forward to the Day...

Howdy Kiddos!

Today is my first official day for the I AM WORTH MORE challenge and I am more than ready for a week where I celebrate the changes that I've made and not just the # on my scale. I've got post-its in hand...

and a scale ready to be covered up with post it notes that will reveal my true success' at the end of the week!

If you just became a follower you can learn more about the challenge and chose to join in here; and for those who have already joined, remember- we will be posting our scale pics next Monday :)

Today I could use a bit more focus/motivation so I thought I would share a few things from a little list that I created the day that I began this journey (November 8th). It is basically a list of what we in the blogging community have deemed "non-scale victories" that I would like to achieve at some point in this journey- or at least when I reach my goal weight.

Some of these are not fun to share but they have all come out of a real life experience that I've had that when compiled continue to push me every day. These aren't really REASONS that I am losing weight, they are more PERKS that I am looking forward to enjoying as I become a healthier and smaller person. Like I said, these are all negative and in some cases embaressing situations that I've encountered as an obese person and I simply cannot wait until I'm able to do each of these things:

- Sit in a Starbucks patio chair comfortably. If you have been following me for any amount of time you know that I've been having quite an affair with starbucks for a loonnng time and to put it frankly- it hurts when I sit in their patio chairs. It sucks that I've had to lie many times and tell my friends that "I just don't like sitting outside" when I meet them for coffee and they want to sit outside because I don't feel like leaving with bruises on my thighs. Egh.

- Same song second verse with Olive Garden.

- Wear Shorts. Truthfully, this is probably the thing that bothers me the most. I couldn't even tell you the last time that I've worn a pair of shorts. Really. If I had to guess I would say that I was probably in...6th or 7th grade? That was almost 10 years ago. I think my legs were the first thing that I noticed growing up that looked unattractive because of my weight. I still remember a horrible little boy in 5th grade saying I had tree trunk legs. ha- wow. I'm 23 freaking years old and I should be able to feel comfortable wearing a pair of shorts but up until now I had pretty much just decided to act as if my legs didn't exist- that's easy when you've worn pants every day for the last 10 years. No- I WILL wear shorts one day. I can't even say that I believe that will ever happen but I am SURE gonna find out.

- Ride any roller coaster at an amusement park. The last 4-5 times that I've been to an amusement park were pretty much hell. Being that I lived in Florida (near Orlando) for the past 4 years of my life and Disney World was just a jump, skip, and a hop away my friends and I frequented these parks often. I can't really think of many other instances in which I've been more embarassed then when I would go to sit down on a coaster ride and have to get up in front of everyone because I wouldn't fit. The last few times I've gone with friends I just had to start pretending like I was afraid of the roller coasters so that I wouldn't have to embaress myself again. I will probably bawl my eyes out the first time that I am able to fit with ease into one of those seats that I could have only dreamed about fitting into before.

Whew. Alright that's enough pain for now- lol. It's okay though, remembering these painful things fuels my fire and gives me things to look forward to NEVER having to happen again. I think when I get below the 300 mark (which is only 19lbs away!) I'll try some of these things out (prob not the shorts- I'll save that for the 100lbs gone mark! lol)

Hope you all have a great day and think of me as I miserably trudge through yet another snow storm that is coming our way- I'm hoping to at least get to the gym 3 times this week- fingers crossed :)