Friday, 19 February 2010

Day #50: I'm a little tea bag...

Hi loves!

I'm glad that so many of you are enjoying the challenge! I've gotta say that today I was tempted to weigh myself, but I resisted- I want to be able to finish this challenge and say that I really gave it all I had, which includes not looking. One thing that is hard to remember is that the # on the scale is still going to be that # whether we look or not.

And now some bad news- I got laid off from work yesterday. It was a definite surprise but honestly they couldn't have done me a bigger favor; I really just wasn't happy working there and I was already looking for another position. So although this came a bit sooner than I had expected, I am looking forward to what's next.

I can't help but find it a bit ironic though that this was a classic example of the "4th Pitiful Pitfall" that I wrote about last week which cause people to give up on their weight loss goals, which was: when life throws a curve ball.

A few hours after I had been let go I was meeting a friend at Olive Garden for dinner and all I wanted to do was get the cheesiest most carby plate of pasta that I could- I figured that I deserved it b/c of the traumatic and stressful situation I had just encoutered and that somehow I would be getting some sort of revenge. Don't ask me on who- but that's definitely what I felt like doing- that is; however, not what I did. Instead, I ate a healthy meal and the only "splurge" I made was eating 2 breadsticks and 2 of the mini chocolates the waiter brings with your bill.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't put a substantial amount of my self-worth on feeling needed and that the things I do matter- so waking up this morning unemployed definitely wasn't the greatest feeling in the world. Furthermore, thoughts like this were continutally flowing through my mind: "How are you going to be able to afford healthy food? You need to watch your budget now!" and "Things are just too crazy right now, you need to make finding a job your #1 priority and worry about all of this "healthiness" stuff when you've got everything sorted out."

I've always liked this saying: "People are like tea bags, you never know what is inside of them until they are put in hot water."

These last 2 days have proven to me that the changes that I've been noticing in myself aren't just an illusion; they are real and they are forever.

I no longer go to italian restaurants and pig out; not because I "shouldn't," but because that's just not me anymore. I not only want to lose this weight but I need to and I've truly truly truly changed. Circumstances like these would have knocked the old Tiffany right on her butt and back into the McDonald's drive thru- BUT NOT ANYMORE. Today I hit the gym for over an hour of cardio and it felt truly wonderful; excercise has become my stress reliever and a new source of accomplishment.

In the last few days I have leanred what I know is such an important lesson: When circumstances occur that could potentially ruin you, simply view them as an opportunity to demonstrate to yourself your determination to a new way of life.

Now that I have done this very thing I am more assured than ever that I will succeed on this journey. I know I will. Not to say that it doesn't scare the heck out of me- but for the first time I am actually beginning to believe it.

When you're put in the hot water of life, what will the result be?

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