Old Habits May Die Hard...But They Can Die!

This past weekend D & I drove up to see my very best friend & her husband who live in Virginia; it was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment trip but the truth is, we needed to get away. As much as we love our life, sometimes we just need a change of scenery, change of pace & change of faces to get us out of a funk put things back into perspective and that's exactly what we got this past weekend. 

The weekend was full of lots of shopping, girl time, board games, chatting & eating (more on that later) & of course, in keeping with typical Tiffany & Erin fashion, lots of crazy pictures: 

(*Sidenote: The super cute shirt I'm wearing was totally a SMALL from J. Crew...a small!!? Say what?!?) 

It was a pretty surreal experience to be able to shop for clothes in the same stores as her- we've always enjoyed shopping together but in the past I've pretty much been restricted to buying accessories in any store she could buy clothes in (with the exception of Target and Old Navy) so to be able to go into any store she went into was a pretty fan-freaking-tastic feeling. 

Erin and I have been best friends for the last 7 years and I couldn't be more grateful to God for her in my life. She has been there through thick and thin...quite literally: 

The pic of us on the left is the day I graduated from college in 2009 (when I was at my very heaviest) & the one on the right is from this weekend (at my very lightest). 

I do want to share something that happened this weekend that definitely caught me off guard. Like I said, Erin and I were friends when I was at my biggest- when I was choosing to eat out at every meal, drink 500 calorie Starbucks drinks daily, eat crappy foods at midnight, had no clue about nutrition & had a crazy emotional attachment to being able to eat whatever I wanted when I wanted. In 2009, after graduating college, I moved to Pittsburgh and soon thereafter was when I decided it was time to make a change, so we've lived in separate states the entire time I've been losing weight (but of course have visited each other multiple times).

Now before I share some of my struggles from this weekend, let me be clear that Erin has been nothing but a HUGE supporter, encouragement & cheerleader for me and my weight loss journey. I've been able to have conversations with her about how I got to where I was and how I got to where I am now unlike I've been able to have with anyone else because she knows me that well. Even when we lived together and I was living an unhealthy lifestyle, it was never her fault at all or even influence- she loved me as I was and never once made me feel inferior. I honestly couldn't ask for a better bestie. 

This weekend; however, did bring about some interesting challenges for me. I'm not sure what it was but I found myself reverting back to an old mindset of thinking whenever we would go out to eat at a restaurant or stop and get coffee at Starbucks; when I would normally stop eating when I was full or have no problem resisting dessert or an extra fatty coffee drink from Starbucks, this weekend I found myself "just accepting" that I would eat more than her, that I would order a larger size drink than her & that of course I would have an extra scoop of ice cream than she was because that's how it used to be. 

I was honestly shocked by this. Mostly because I normally have a spine of steel when it comes to issues of peer pressure & even though she wasn't pressuring me to make unhealthy choices at all, I was almost pressuring myself to revert back to that person who allowed food, emotions & circumstances to control them because that was what I had known in the past. 

After an instance of allowing myself to eat way too much dessert after dinner & having a stomach ache, I woke up the next morning & got my head on straight, remembered the freedom that I've received from food through Christ's power & returned to living victoriously over food and enjoyed the rest of our time together. 

Failure isn't an option for me in this journey; I take every instance that looks like a "set back" & promise to learn from what it has to teach me so that next time it can be a step of victory; from this weekend I learned: 

1. While Christ has set me free from living under the control of food, my emotions or circumstances, I'm not above being tempted or having cravings and if I want to continue to live victoriously, I must continue to seek His help & utilize the power that He makes available to me. When I think this way, there's no time for thoughts like, "Oh well, I fell off the wagon and have returned to the person I used to be," as I had begun to fear was happening, because the truth is that moments of "victory" or "failure" don't dictate who I am, Christ does & I have the power to choose that. 
2. This was a lesson I learned a long while back but needed a stern reminder of: Fun is not synonymous with eating crappy food; in fact, eating crappy food normally leads to shame. Fun is when I enjoy the company I'm with and remain true to myself & what is best for me. 
3. I am the only one who is going to make the "tough decisions" that need to be made in order to get me to where I want to go; if I'm waiting for someone else to choose to suggest working out as an activity or to opt out of having bread/dessert, than I'm waiting in vain & wouldn't deserve an ounce of credit for having went along with the decision. 

So, in the end I am thankful for this weekend for many reasons, some that were easier to come by than others, but thankful nonetheless. 

This week, life has returned to normal as usual; some happenings: 

I have been craving carrot cake like nobody's business so when I saw this Carrot Cake Larabar at GNC I had to try one! 

The verdict? Eh... it wasn't bad... there was definitely a "carrot cake-y" taste to it but not enough for me to buy a whole box of them, especially when there are so many other delicious Larabar options like peanut butter cookie, cookie dough & chocolate chip peanut butter. Can you tell I like cookies...and peanut butter...and chocolate? haha 

I also whipped together this yummy super light dish for lunches this week:

 Mediterranean Chickpea Tuna Salad:

4 servings (1 1/4 cup each) 

- 1 can of chickpeas
- 10 cherry tomatoes
- 2 cans of tuna
- 1 diced cucumber
- 1 tbls. evoo
- lemon juice to taste
- 4 tbls. balsamic vinegar
- 15 chips (Food Should Taste Good brand, multigrain)
= 454 calories 

I really have become much more of a frequent snacker than a big meal eater lately so this meal was great- it was light, zesty, spring-y tasting & it included chips so that's an all around win in my book! 

Lastly, I kicked my own bum in the gym yesterday with an intense 45 minute interval workout on the elliptical- when I had started running and thought I was all hardcore I had convinced myself that the elliptical was for wusses; well, if that's the case then I'll keep sweating my bum off like this and being a wuss :) 

Alright kiddos, that's enough for today but I would like to hear from you: 

• Has anyone else struggled with kicking old habits when you are back in an old familiar situation that you used to make unhealthy choices in? 
• What's your go-to lunch option these days? I'm always looking for new lunch ideas!