Days #282 - #287: Random Soup

Get your spoons out because if you keep reading you are about to enjoy a big ol' bowl of randomness...there are so many thoughts flowing through my mind that I'm pretty sure there is no way I'll be able to organize them into a nice perfectly packaged post so here it goes!

• I'm realizing I haven't come as far with my relationship with food as I thought I had. Earlier on in my journey I felt like food had kind of...lost it's power over me, but recently I just have been having the hardest time saying "no." Very soon I'm going to be exploring when/where/why these situations occur and how I can try and avoid/deal with them.

• Biggest Loser pretty much rocks my world. Sure, I can relate with some disgrunteled viewers who say that the extreme success the BL's see isn't healthy for the average dieter (ex: someone losing 20lbs in a week as was shown on last night's episode) but I can't even say how big of a motivator watching the show is for me- mainly for 2 reasons: #1) It shows me that I can ALWAYS be working harder. When I see people who are bigger than me working out harder than me- it pushes me to go harder. And #2) It doesn't allow me to feel sorry for myself- when I saw Aaron (who weighs 440lbs or so) do 10 two-minute sprints last night that pretty much just blew my whole idea of "because I am just under 300lbs I'm in no place to jog" right out the freaking window.

• Starting yesterday I am beginning to use an online calorie counting tool called "The Daily Plate;" this is a tool that used a while back and really enjoy- it allows me to chart my weight loss progress, figure out how many calories I should be eating each day to lose weight, informs me as to how many calories I am burning on average through certain activities, and most importantly- keep track of not only my calories but carbs, fat, sodium levels as well. I am only planning on tracking w/this online tool M-F because I know I won't do it on the weekends since I'm rarely in front of the computer and I'd just be setting myself up for failure if I said I would do it everyday so I'm going to be realistic and do just M-F. Anyone else ever use The Daily Plate?
• This past weekend we got in some really good community service time- it's always fun when exercise and serving others can coincide- here's a pic of our group!

That's all folks! Hope you enjoyed your bowl o' random soup :) 

Days #279 - #281: From Fickle to Focused!

Right now...I'm pretty ticked at myself.

For some unexplained reason I've been eating like crap for the last 2 days. Now, by "eating like crap" I don't mean gorging myself on pizza or anything but I've definitely not been taking steps TOWARD my goal.

For accountability sake, I'll tell you all that I:
- Went out to dinner w/ a friend on Tuesday evening and ate WAYYYY too much bread.
- Had small donut yesterday morning even though I had already eaten breakfast.
- Ate french fries w/ my dinner yesterday.
- Choose to have 4-5 pretzel drums dipped in cinnamon sauce last night.
- And had another small donut this morning w/ a bottled vanilla frappuccino even though I already had breakfast.

Argh!!! I'm seriously mad at myself and I have EVERY reason to be- I know that all of those choices were STUPID.

But, unlike times in the past where I would have just given up I'm using this frusteration to fuel me and keep me focused to do my VERY BEST for the rest of today, tomorrow, and Saturday leading up to my weigh in on Sunday morning where I am SO hoping to hit 60 pounds lost! And, I'm also only 1 lb away from posting my next progress picture over there on the sidebar!

For example, I'm going out tonight with my girls to a new restaurant called Church Brew Works and I've already checked out the menu to decide what I'm going to get and will be eating my yummy homeade chili for lunch today.

I need to start focusing more on my goals and envisioning where I want to be b/c I've been at this TOO long to be doing stupid stuff like eating a donut that I really don't even want just because it's there. Lesson learned.

On a brighter note, I went to the Pirates game the other day with my church fam and had splendid time! While the Pirates officially suck, PNC park is absolutely beautiful and we had amazing seats! Wanna see me cheesin'? :)

Peace out ya'll! Prove to yourself just how strong you really are today!

Days #273 - #278: Long, Short, and Short-er!

Well, I'm only 1lb away from being 60lbs down!

Being that the time is drawing near when I originally began this journey (Nov 8th) I've been doing a lot of reflecting about just how far I've come in a year- sure, I know I won't make my goal of losing 100lbs by December 31st (I've come to terms with that finally!) but I will have lost a significant amount of weight- something I have NEVER done before!

Like I said- I realize my original goal is not something that will happen but you know what? WHO CARES!?! My ultimate goal is not to lose 100lbs by December 31st, my ultimate goal is too lose all of my extra weight and I KNOW that will happen- whether that's on December 31st or any other date.

That's not to say that I'm still not setting goals- that is just in my blood (I do it in all areas of my life) and it gives me something to strive for and feel good about achieving; which is why I've recently set 2 new "short-term" weight loss goals to go along with my long-term one; in case you've never heard them they are:

*Long-Term Goal: To weigh 175lbs (a total loss of 177lbs)
*Short-Term Goal: To have lost 100lbs by March 26th (that is the date of the wedding I am in!)
*Short-er Term Goal: To have lost 75lbs by December 21st.

I am currently 16 pounds away from achieving my "short-er term goal" and I'm going after this with all I've got.

 So why December 21st?

Well, I am originally from AZ (which is where all of my family lives) but moved to Pittsburgh awhile back and due to finances/timing I wasn't able to go home for Christmas last year but have already booked my ticket (ouch btw!) to fly home for Christmas this year...on December 21st! By that time I will have been away from home for 1 year and 6 months and it is one of my strongest desires to meet my family and friends in the airport and for their jaws to drop!

My family has always been very kind in regards to my being overweight- belive it or not I am the only overweight person in my family and I can probably count on both my hands the # of times anyone has ever mentioned my weight being an issue in my entire life; which I'm sure we can all agree is both a positive & negative thing. Regardless, I know they have all wanted me to lose weight for a LONG time- for my health and because well, they're my family!

They do know that I've been "losing weight" but none of them have any idea how much and I would be able to hold my head even higher being able to say that I've lost 75lbs! Granted, I know that 59lbs is something to be proud of too- but 75lbs is what I'm shooting for.

This was a picture of me during my last trip to AZ, so this is how they remember me:

I don't think I look like this anymore...but sometimes it is truthfully hard for me to tell! Oh well, the scale doesn't lie...I am 1lb away from 60lbs being gone!

Yipeee!

Anybody else have a hard time seeing your own weight loss? 

Days #269 - #272: Quick Update!

Hi friends!

Anyone else loving them some Fall?! Being that I've lived in states with only 2 seasons for most of my life (AZ/FL)- I appreciate Fall even that much more.

So- let's talk. It's update time:

- I'm still in the midst of my $ challenge and doing wonderfully. I still can't believe how difficult it was for me to break the cycle of feeling the need to eat out for every meal but it really isn't even an issue anymore- I enjoy my cooking and I enjoy knowing what is going into the food I eat. I know a few of your mentioned you were going to be joining me for this experiment- how's it going?

- One of my newest creations is pizza on naan tandori bread (delicious!) Check it out!

- I have officially changed my weigh in days back to Sundays (due to another round of the Biggest Loser Challenge that has started back up) so I'll be posting my weigh in this coming Sunday. 

- Today, I hit the gym and spent 30 mins on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the upright bike, and then did the weight training circuit- and it felt awesome.

Alright ya'll, I'm keeping it short and sweet for today- I'm getting ready to sit down and soak up some Biggest Loser inspiration for the evening!

Peace.

Days #267 & #268: My $ Experiment!

Toward the beginning of my journey I shared that I believe one of the major causes of my obesity was I found some sense of normalcy or control over my life when I would be able to go out and eat with friends or even by myself; this was probably because growing up my family ate out a lot and so when I went to college and was dirt poor it would bother me if I didn't have $ to spend on food so as soon as I got $ I would usually spend it on that- hence gaining even more weight.

Since the beginning of this journey that has been something I've been working on changing- realizing that my sense of normalcy and self-control shouldn't come from being able to eat whatever/wherever I want, but from having control over food and not the other way around- not eating out/eating bad just because I can.

Well, out of curiosity the other day I went online to my bank account and decided to add up the amount of money that I spen in August on eating out...um...wow. I really would rather not say how much I spent eating out but let's just say it is more than my rent or my car payment. Say what!? Yep. It's true. So after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I realized that I may not have successfully broken this pattern of getting my sense of normalcy and control from eating out after all so I began a 2 week experiment; here are the stipulations:

1- No frivilous eating out; I can only eat out 1 meal per week each week (unless someone else offers to pay).

2- No spending ANY $ on food outside of that one meal. Too often I convince myself that I need to go to Trader Joe's or another supermarket for groceries but I really don't. I'm challenging myself to not buy any more groceries but eat off of what I already have in the house.

I began this experiment this past Monday and so far so good. I have spent a total of $17 dollars on food this week where I would normally have spent at least $45-$50 and this isn't even including the weekend (which is when I usually spend the most!).

Truthfully, I'm learning  A LOT from this experiment and I'll be sharing some of these lessons throughout the week but first I thought I'd show some of the interesting creations I've been coming up with since my challenge to only make meals from what I already have at home (nothing too exciting- just some of my basics):

Peanut Butter Oatmeal- I eat this for breakfast every morning at work (M-F) and I love it. I use high fiber maple syrup instant oatmeal (160 cals), 3/4 cup skim milk (60 cals), and 1 tbls of all natural reduced fat peanut butter (95)- a little high in cals but SO filling and SO delicious!

I created this yummy salad with romaine, homeade chicken salad (including crazines), and instead of using croutons I used pretzel thins from trader joes! Get this- 23 pretzel things for only 110 cals!

Flat bread white pizza (or at least that's what I call it!) I used the flatbreads above from Trader Joes (110 cals), mushrooms, tomotoes, light provolone, hummus, and garlic! Throw it in the oven and hello deliciousness!

Alright, excuse the fugly picture but I've been meaning to make something like this for awhile and finally got around to it- and BOY was it easy peasy! I just got a bag of mini red potatoes, cut em up, rolled em around in some oil and Mrs. Dash, threw em in the oven for 10 minutes and then enjoy an amazing side dish!



I can't lie- not eating out hasn't been easy for me- particularly when I'm used to eating out 8ish times a week but it really just isn't worth the effect that it's been having on my bank account or on the scale.

Anyone else wanna join me for week 2 of this challenge?

Days #263- #266: What do you BELIEVE?

Hey Ya'll!

Thanks for all of your sweet comments on the bridesmaid pictures- they meant a lot ;)

Here's a truth that a friend and I were talking about recently (in a different context) that I've just been itching to share: It is only a matter of time before we live our lives in a manner consistant with what we believe about ourselves.

Think about it- this is a truth that can be seen in a variety of different life situations, for example:

- Someone who has suffered from alcoholism swears to give up drinking and is successful for a few months; however, unless they come to a place in their mind where they truly believe that they can control their life and urge to drink and that they are not always destined to live a life of alcholism, many times it is only a matter of time before they find themselves all washed up again.

Why is this? Because LIFE CHANGE requires more than just a MENTAL DECISION it requires a CHANGE OF BELIEF.

This COMPLETELY applies to the journey that we are all on; ANYONE can make a MENTAL DECISION/UNDERSTAND that:

- Certain foods are unhealthy and cause weight gain.
- You plan/are going to exercise because that will help with weight loss.
- To not give into emotional eating or just the love of sweets/salty-goodness.
- That you are going to lose ____ amount of pounds.
- Etc. Etc. Etc. (Insert any other thing we've all "decided" along this journey).

But clearly, deciding these things/understanding them is NOT ENOUGH otherwise NO ONE would be obese or overweight- it takes something more than just understanding weight loss principles or even deciding with all of the determination in the world to do/not do something and truthfully (for LONG TERM success) it will even take more than just beginning to walk these principles/decisions out. Think about it- MOST people have enough determination and self-control to keep their "New Year's Resolutions" or goals for a few weeks, and if they are really strong-willed, maybe even a few months, but it takes something more to create LASTING CHANGE- and I believe that lies in the power of what we believe about ourselves.

I'm taking a moment (and I would challenge everyone to do the same) to evaluate what it is that I truly BELIEVE about myself in regards to this journey- in order to do that I think I need to answer questions like:

- Do I TRULY BELIEVE that I will no longer live the rest of my life being overweight or do I secretly believe that I may be able to keep this up for a while but that being overweight is how I will always life my life?
- Do I TRULY BELIEVE that being fit and athletic is possible for me? Or do I secretly believe I'm just saying it is?
- Do I TRULY BELIEVE that I am worth all of this effort?
- And most importantly: Do I TRULY BELIEVE that I am not the same person that I once was and that I am well on my way to becoming the person I desire to be.

How do I know this decision/understanding vs. belief thing is legit? Because there have been countless times that I've sat at a restaurant or at home late at night on my couch and when the thought of eating something that I know I shouldn't comes on my mind and I really start to rationalize whether I should eat it or not- there is always a lingering voice that says..."this really isn't going to matter, you know that sooner or later...you're going to give up or give in." No wonder that even if I say no that time, it really is only a matter of time before that very thing happens!

So what's the SOLUTION you ask? The only way that you or I are going to be truly successful for the long haul is to begin to change the way we believe about ourselves and this journey. Therefore, an even better questions becomes: How the heck do you do that? Well, I don't know completely, but here are some thoughts I am going to begin with EVERY morning and will keep in the front of my mind as I make decisions (and hopefully these thoughts will tranform into beliefs):

- I am the person that I want to become NOW- even while I'm still in an overweight place. People that have lost a significant amount of weight didn't just wake up one day and BAM! all of the weight was gone- NO- they saw each day/choice as representing a step that would take them closer to their goal. I need to believe that I won't just be that fit/conquering person what I've reached my goal, but that I am that person NOW- just in progress.

- I AM a person who has control over her life and over the food choices I make; I make healthy decisions because that is WHO I AM.

I am sure that I am nowhere near cracking the tip of the iceberg on this subject but I really feel like this is a key that will unlock many of the reasons that people fail when trying to lose weight.

What do you think? Can you identify with this at all on your journey?

Days #259 - #262: I Bit the Bullet...

I took everyone's advice and went with the group to try on the bridesmaid dresses today. You all are seriously so smart and I'm glad you give such good advice because now looking back I would have totally regreted not going.

All in all, (thanks to a new pair of Spanx and the encouraging words of you all) it was a pretty fabulous time. Only 2 other bridesmaids (out of a total of 8) were there and it was pretty low-key. The dress is still a little short for my taste so I'm having an inch taken out of the hem but I can't lie- there was a point today as I was looking in the mirror that I began to feel very...proud of the work I've put in so far on this journey.

Wanna hear something AWESOME? When I first looked at the dress on the hanger I began to doubt if even the largest size they carried (a 26) would be big enough...I suddenly pictured myself having to come out of the dressing room and saying that not even the largest size would fit and then have to have the consultant tell me there were no bigger options and then the bride have to completely change her dress or something. Well, the 26 did fit; in fact, it was too big so I tried on the 24, and it was too big until finally I slipped into the perfect size 22! As I'm sure you can imagine, that felt great. The 22 is a little tight on me but I know that six months from now I will probably even need to go down a size (or two!).

It's so cool to be able to go into a store and not automatically have to try the biggest thing they have on there- I don't even know how long it's been since that has been the case but a long time. For sure, a size 22 is nothing to write home about but the fact that there are 2 sizes larger than that available just make me smile from ear to ear :) Not to mention, I bought a shirt today from LB in a size 14/16! Do you know how crazy that is!?!

It's just little things like these that are great motivators that push me to keep going!

For now, I can't wait until I go and pick up my dress in a month or so and be able to see how much better it fits :) I'm sure the picture below can show you some of the reasons I'm still not completely comfortable wearing something like this, but I will be!
Again- THANK YOU so much for your thoughtful, encouraging, and wise words of advice about this- it was your words that allowed me to come out of the dressing room with my head held high today :)