Day #220: Where I find Myself.

Morning!

Yesterday (as I mentioned in my little "Hi" post), I spent a bit of time checking in on some of the bloggers that I've truly connected with since beginning this blog. It had honestly been about 2 months since I had really gotten to just sit down and read and I can't tell you how BLOWN away I was to come back to these blogs and see how much progress some of you have made! Perhaps most noteworthy- Julia , who since beginning her weight loss journey (which I believe was about the same time I did...so about 9 months ago) has lost over 100lbs! W.O.W. Needless to say, you all have someone applauding you all in your corner because the fact is- you are still here and still losing- and that IS what this is all about.



So...where am I in all of this? That is the question that I feel like I can't move on in this blog or my journey at all really without answering. I am compelled to analyze where I am in my journey and decide if I've failed or succeeded- those are really the only 2 options that I feel like I have. The truth of the matter is that for the past 3 months I've really just been maintaining my weight loss- I have exercised less than a handful of times, eaten carelessly many handfuls more, and tried to almost forget the journey I've been on since last November- and to me that would mean all signs point in the direction of...failure.



But here's MY reality- I have lost 50lbs and am HALFWAY to my goal of losing 100lbs this year. I have NOT FAILED because it is not December 31st yet and this is NOT over. Sure, I may have had 3 months of not doing my best- but I didn't gain back all of my weight- and for some reason, I feel as though I have.



But at this point I realize I have 2 options to choose from:



#1: I can feel bad that I have wasted these past 3 months of just maintaining and not losing any weight. Compare myself to others and their weight loss and feel bad about myself. Listen to the voice in my head saying I can't do this, and basically allow all of that negativity to make me just...stop. And then come January 2011 I would be finding myself making the same resolution again and probably close to being back at my starting weight.



OR



#2: I can accept that I didn't lose any weight in the last 3 months and let it serve as a sober reminder to me that just because I've lost 50lbs does not mean that I'm a shoe-in for losing the next 50 and that my whole self isn't magically rewired into being a health food eating exercising robot, I'm human and I've got choices to make. I can work my BUTT off these next 5 months and prove to myself that I CAN do this and live the life that I deserve to have. I will move forward accepting that I'm human and remembering that my goal in this journey is not perfection but perserverance.



There is 145 days left in this year and I intend to make every one of them a day that get's me closer to my goal- EVERY STEP- a one forward!



Whew! Alright- that was Tiffany's motivational speech for the day :)



Real quick before I go- I have hit the jackpot! No- not in money...but in another kind of green- SALAD!! Now I know that to some salad may be a 4 letter word but I really love it but because I am a freak about the taste of certain salad dressings and the cleanliness of produce that I don't wash myself I rarely get salads on the go which is stinky because I eat on the go A LOT.



Well, problem solved thanks to Breugger's Bagels! Not sure where they are located throughout the country but they have an option to build you own salad that I'm just crazy about. All of the ingredients are super fresh and are not just your typical salad bar ingredients- they whip it all up in a big bowl right in front of you (not just grab a pre-packaged one of out a refridgerator in "the back") and it is the right size and everything! Sure, you have to be careful what toppings you put on it and how much dressing you ask for but just like in any situation- there's always that choice to be made.



Wanna see my yummy creation? Or at least what was left over of it after I scarfed it down in the car :) (I know, I know...dangerous! lol)

I put tomatoes, asiago cheese, red onion, and 1 scoop (possibly 1 and 1/2 table spoons) of caesar dressing in mine. Personally, I would rather have my salad be a little dry with really yummy dressing than a lot of yucky light dressing. Just my opinion :)

Alright friends- make today one you are proud of!

Days #206 - #219: Hi!

Good Afternoon,

Just wanted to pop in quickly and say hello! I'm actually going to spend some time catching up with all of my favorite bloggers right now (which I am SUPER excited about) but wanted to at least pop and in and say hi :)

You'll be hearing from me tomorrow!

Days #176- #205: Choices and Fate.

Happy Sunday!

It really has been a great weekend- my life is usually so busy and hectic and for the first time in quite a while I enjoyed a nice leisurely weekend- the pic above is from our housewarming party on Friday night with my roomie, friend, and her amazingly cute son :)

Weighed in today: 301 so technically +1lb. This will be the week that I break 300 :)

And now for some thoughts I just can't get off my mind:

Sometimes I think we allow our past experiences to become some sort of "proof" that our future HAS to look a certain way instead of just allowing them to be what they are...past experiences.





I think being overweight all of my life has caused me to stop dreaming. And worse- I have never really cared.





Because I've been overweight my whole life doing things like running a marathon, wearing a short/cute dress, or feeling comfortable in a swim suit have just never felt like options for me. I've pretty much been okay with just reserving that those things are for other people and not for me- as if it is some act or decision of fate that I just didn't get picked to enjoy those things.





But that is just not true.





For whatever reason, I need to constantly remind myself that my future (specifically in regards to my weight and health) IS in MY hands and that I CAN control it. I am not just destined to always be overweight (or obese) simply because I always have been- I get to choose!





Everything in life really comes down to choices and perhaps the reason that many of us would not like to believe that or simply act as if it isn't true is because if we admitted it's truth we would be admitting that it is our own fault that we find ourselves in the state we do. And we don't like to be wrong...or guilty.





I have evaluated what it is that I want in life and it's:





- To be healthy.


- To live a full and long life.


- To have a family.


- To enjoy my life.


- To live life without limits.





And being overweight doesn't go along with any of those.





I am choosing to live a healthy life and to prove to myself that I CAN do this and that I am not destined to be anything other than what I choose to be.





Thanks for listening to my ramblings :)

A Video Hello :)

Day #174 & #175: Rollin', Rollin'!

Hi gang!

Man, am I glad that it is Friday! Lately, I've just been living for the weekends and since

this happens to be a 3 day weekend, I'm even happier :)

In a few weeks my team and I (who organize community events) are putting on a Family Bike Ride in our community and I am pretty pumped! It will basically just be an opportunity for parents and their kids to get outside, exercise, and enjoy the great city of Pittsburgh!

I can't lie, lately I've been feeling like I need something a little more than just an elliptical machine to get me motivated; I want to be passionate about living a healthy lifestyle and for me I think that might entail some sort of activity that I can get involved with...like biking!

Pittsburgh has SO many amazing bike trails (think street biking, not mountain biking) and it's a good way to be outside (which I'm loving more and more); sure, I couldn't really do this in the winter, but it's a fine way for me to soak up the sun right now.

Sunday evening, a friend and I went out to ride the trail that we will be doing the day of the bikeride to make sure it was doable for kids and it was a ton of fun, well...besides the fact that I was riding a borrowed granny bike with no gears- but it's all good. Check me out!

We rode around for an hour and it really was a fantastic time. I'm thinking that if I happen to win this round of The Biggest Loser Challenge that I might just have to mosey on over to Wal Mart and pick me up a cheap, but decent bike.

Anyone else love them a nice bike ride?

Days #162 - #173: Dear Me,

Dear Self,

You are almost halfway through this journey of losing 100lbs in a year and you have made some truly great progress thus far...

You have:

- Lost 50lbs

- Overcome your fear of going to the gym

- Learned what it means to eat in a balanced and healthy way

- Proven to yourself that you CAN lose weight

- Figured out some of the things that trigger you into eating unnecessarily

- Worked yourself into doing 30 minutes on the elliptical

- Made some great bloggy friends

Those are things to be celebrated and proud of, you are well on your way to living the life that you deserve and taking control of the things that were manipulated by situations and other people in the past.

However, the truth of the matter is: you aren't giving this your all.

I know that because you are more comfortable with yourself now and have proven that you can lose weight that the need to do it doesn't feel as immediate but the truth is- YOU ARE STILL ALMOST 300LBS and THAT is NOT what you deserve or want!

You deserve more than to be a victim to circumstances or habit, you deserve to live the healthiest life possible, and you deserve to have all your dreams and desires not hindered because of this stupid thing.

You know your own strength, you know your destiny, and you KNOW that God will be with you every step of the way to help make this a reality- DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT!

YOU CAN DO THIS! You HAVE done it already!

Be fabulous, strong, and healthy- LIVE the life that YOU desire!

As this second half of the journey approaches, I challenge you to give this E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. you have- which looks something like:

- Eating food that is healthy and fuels your body in a way that you will be happy with the physical results of your choices.

- Not depriving yourself of something that you really want but eating in in proper proportion and in balance of what else you have eaten that day.

- Push my body to do things I don't currently believe it can with exercise!

- Not be negatively influenced to eat things I have not planned on eating (or know is healthy) just because: I'm eating out, it's the weekend, or someone is offering it to me.

Tiffany, you KNOW who you are and you KNOW that you have a STRONG support system. And the fact of the matter is that no one can make this decision for you but yourself, you cannot simply wait around for it to happen or wish that it would- you have GOT to MAKE it happen.

And you will.

Love,

You

p.s. Keep a sweaty smile upon your face :)

Days #160 & #161: R-r-r-random.

Morning friends!

It's Friday!!! Can I get a whoo hoo?!? WHOO HOO!!!

I feel the need to just share a bunch of randomness today- heck it's almost the weekend and my mind is nowhere near being able to focus on anything! So here goes nothing :)

Yesterday I got a pretty sweet workout in- my usual 30 minutes on the elliptical followed by 15 on the upright bike, sooner or later I'll kick it up and change it up but for right now this is what is realistic for me and I can't lie- I still thoroughly enjoy it! Check out the sweat :)

So....I have new OBSESSION- wanna know what it is???

It's GLEE! I seriously love this show and just cannot get enough! The writing is witty, the characters and hilarious, and best of all- they are actually all talented! Anyone else share this newfound love of mine? I would marry Finn, no lie. :)

Continuing on this train of randomness, does anyone have any REALLLLY good recipes for the crockpot? I just got a new one and I'd really like to try it out and before I head to the library to check out a cookbook I figured I'd check in with a more reliable and fun panel, you! Suggestions?

Alright, I'm peacing out now but I would just like to share that I will have a very special treat for you all on my blog this weekend- it's a Tiffany first ;)

Have a GREAT weekend friends, make good choices!