Day #39: Random Ramblings...

Morning love-ies!

Today my mind is going about a million miles a minute in about a million different directions- therefore... let the random ramblings commence!

Driving to work this morning was probably one of the more scarey experiences of my life- I drive an itty bitty hyundai and let's just say it doesn't handle still having more than inch of snow on the ground after the road has supposedbly been "plowed" and it was a slidin' every which way. I don't want to be annoying with this so I'll just say it one time so that it's out of my system: I hate snow. Sure it's pretty and fun to play in, but it just makes driving anywhere a hassle and sometimes dangerous. Eck, looks like another snow blizzard from you know where is heading our way tomorrow...eek! Looks nice n safe right? NOT!




HOWEVER, before heading out to brake the ice off my windshield I did experience a rather exciting NSV...

Sorry for the sucky phone pic but I was running out the door and wanted to share with you my 1st official piece of clothing that used to be too tight but now fits like a glove! This winter jacket is one that I received from my work and although it is a tad fugly I was grateful b/c I never even owned a winter coat and this one is super warm! When I first got it about a month and a half ago I couldn't zip the whole thing up without taking out the down feather insert- it just wouldn't fit over my bum! However....today it zipped up (down insert and all) perfectly! Whoo hoo! Not that this coat would ever look good on anybody but still...whoo hoo! :)

Also, I figured this morning was as good as any to finally try Fage Greek Yogurt! I had obviously heard tons about it but just had never really gotten around to picking any up and then once I had it I was a little nervous to try it because I had heard that the texture and taste was a little...interesting. Before I tasted it I added in a packet of Splenda and... YUM! It kind of reminds me of sour cream more than yogurt, but with 15g of protein you can't beat it!

My final random rambling is that I hit the jackpot this past week! Hahaha, no no not the lottery but the giveaway jackpot baby! I almost never enter into the givewaways that people host on their blogs because I figure my odds aren't that great and truthfully... I just don't like jumping through some of the hoops but when I see a giveaway that I would really like to win, I'll enter... and guess what happened? I won 2x's last week! Whoo hooo! I won a Crystal Lite Package from Prior Fat Girl and even better... the whole big buncha loot from TJ! I cannot tell you how excited I was when I found out I won these giveaways- you KNOW that I will be taking pics with the goodies :)

Shout Out: Wanted to give a quick shout out to my girl Jessica over at CBGB; I've never met Jessica but she reminds me a lot of myself and has been blogging for about a month now, has been kicking butt, and deserves some followers! I know it can be somewhat discouraging when your putting yourself out there in blogland and you're not sure if anyone is even listening; I know if you you give her half of the encouragement and support that ya'll give me she will be even that much MORE likely to succeed! You rock Jess!

Alright friends, I promise that tomorrow's post will be a bit more focused than the last 2, it's just with all of this snow craziness I'm a bit frazzled :) In fact, tomorrow I will be writing about a rather important discovery (to me) that I made just this morning!

Hope all of you North Easterners are staying safe and warm out there!

Day #37 & #38: Snowed In/ Weigh In

Well, I'm alive- barely!

Not sure if you heard about the arctic storm blizzard from hell that hit the Northeast this weekend but we were right smack dab in the middle of it. We were told to only expect about 4-8 inches of snow on Friday night but we woke up Saturday morning to about 2 feet! I'm sure that for some that might not sound like that big of a deal, but for this Arizona girl- it was nuts!

Because of all this craziness I wasn't able to make it to the gym yesterday or today like I had planned, but I would say that the 3+hours of shoveling that we did was work enough.

As ya'll know today was weigh in day and... no loss/no gain. I def. wasn't excited to see that number but being that it's that time of the month and that I seem to show a pattern of losing weight every other week- I'm not nervous or disappointed; I'm doing everything right so it's only a matter of time before the scale gives me what I deserve!

Thought I'd leave you all w/ some pics from this weekend...enjoy!

Our swimming pool is actually under all of that!

Me trying to get to my car :)
Oh so much fun...not!

We are supposed to be getting even more snow this week and I can't lie, when the weather is like this it does put a damper on me being able to workout the way that I like to, but I guess you gotta just work with what you got!

Peace!

Day #36: Gym Mantras!

Hello friends!

The other day I was asked by my girl Phat Nanny (heyyyy!) how I am able to stay motivated at the gym to do visit Mr. T for as long and frequently as I do- and I am excited today to be sharing my answer with all of you because I cannot tell you how VITAL these things have been to my journey thus far.

*Disclaimer: If you didn't already think I was walking the line between sanity and craziness, you just may today!* Just wanted to warn ya'll!

Alright so- my current "gym life" looks like this: I go 5x's a week, do a full hour of cardio 3x's a week, and 30 mins 2x's a week. I'm trying to stick to mostly cardio for the month of Feb so I only do one rotation of the weight lifting circuit a week (this will evenutually change). I truly enjoy going to the gym, my body actually craves it, which is something I NEVER thought would be the case. I by NO means think or am saying that I am super fit (ha!) or that I work out harder than anyone else, but I do know that I'm doing well for someone that weighed 352lbs a few months ago and that I thoroughly enjoy the gym- which isn't all that common for someone who weighs what I do and has just started out- at least I don't think so! lol

So today I'd like to share my "Gym Mantra's" with you! For me, my performance at the gym is a complete head game- I believe that this battle really is won or lost in your mind- which causes me to take some... not-so-conventional approaches :)

So here are the things that I do that I believe had me made successful at going to, enjoying, and working hard at the gym:

1) The first part of the battle starts with even getting to the gym! I leave work at 5:00pm, drive home, change clothes right away, jump in my car and head to the gym. I know that I went home, sat down to watch some tv or eat dinner, even with the best of intentions, I probably would self-sabotage myself into not going to the gym. No- I look at working out as an extention of my work day and as soon as I walk into my house I refuse to do anything else other than change my clothes and get out the door; I don't give myself an option or time to think of the million other things I could be doing that are much more appealing. I also schedule my workouts in my planner like I do any other appointment.

2) When I get on a machine I decide how long I'm going do it before I even get on; otherwise I leave it up for "debate" then I'll be ready to get off when I've only been on for 10-15 minutes! But when I get on the upright bike and have decided that I'm staying on for 30 min's then when I look down and see that I still have 18min's left then I don't sit there and barter with myself as to how long I'm going to stay on- I just keep peddling because I've already made the decision. I also find that when I allow myself to "barter" I end up hating the last half of my workout because I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do. Make up your mind and stick with it.



3) Make working out as enjoyable as possible! Earlier this week I started really despising being on the treadmill b/c when I would walk my gym pants kept riding up- and trying to pull them back down while walking 3.6 mph just doesn't work all that well! This happened 2 days in a row and it almost made me want to stop doing Mr. T altogether b/c I hated the thought of feeling uncomofortable for 30 minutes. So I went out shopping yesterday determined to find a comfortable pair of workout bottoms and I left Wal Mart victorious! LoL and needless to say my date yesterday with Mr. T went famously- no more pulling my pants out of my crotch! :) Another thing I do to make my workouts more enjoyable is to bring along a new magazine. I can't look at it when I'm doing the treadmill but I do look at it when I'm on the upright or hybrid bike and it truly makes the time go by so much faster- just be sure to check on your speed every once in awhile so that you don't slow down without noticing it!





4) Here's the crazy part- at least 1 time during my workout (when I feel like slowing down or cutting the workout short) I will literally picture Jillian Michaels standing in front of me and screaming in my face to work harder. hahahaha I know, I know- craziness, but you know what? IT WORKS- every. time.

(fyi-that's me on the upright bike!)

No joke- when I'm working out there are times that I'm tempted to slack off just like anyone else, but then I think of the contestants on TBL and remember NONE of them would be pushing themselves as hard as they do in the gym if Bob and Jillian weren't them making them. Well, I (we) don't have that luxury so I have to remind myself that I'm the only one that is going to push myself do to things that I didn't think I could. Jillian, I know we've never met, but thanks for showing up in my mind everyday at the gym and screaming obsceneites at me :)

5) While I'm on the treadmill and pushing my hardest (and sweatin' like a woman in labor), I will tell myself... I love this. I know I'm tip toeing even farther over the crazy ledge but I believe that if you tell yourself something enough that it can become a reality. For example, I know that if while doing a short jog I tell myself while running that I can't do this, it sucks, I'm tierd, etc. then I won't last very long. On the other hand I've pushed myself to jog longer than I thought I could because while doing it I was saying, "this isn't hard, you can do this, keep going!" So whehter it's a bunch of mumbo jumbo or not- it helps me so I'm gonna keep doing it! Like I said, I think it's worked because when I am on Mr. T I find myself thinking more than once, "Wow, I love this feeling;" and I know it wouldn't have happened if I didn't make myself believe it even when it wasn't true.

6) I pick 1 aspect about my life that will be so much better when I've lost weight; I think of all of the things I'll be abel to do and experience and I'll consciously think about that reason when a workout becomes tough. It helps me stay focused and makes the workout feel like it has a purpose and that it is in fact, worth it.

So there you have it, my 6 little (semi-nutty) gym mantras that keep me working hard and focused. Still love me even though I might be a little crazy? hahaha

What about you guys? Do you have any gym mantras of your own? Has Jillian (or Bob) ever secretly appeared next to your elliptical? :)

Peace-n-love ya'll!

p.s. If you are new to my blog I recently added a new section titled "The Day I..." (over on the right side bar) which includes some of the posts that have been somewhat monumental for me on this journey~ Enjoy!

Day #35: Then and Now: Food

Today I thought it would be fun to compare my old way of eating to the way I eat now and see how big of a difference there really is- well, after doing the numbers... I wouldn't say that it was much "fun;" but it was definitely eye opening!

Alright- so let's get to it: We'll start with the way I eat now- here is what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast: 1 Packet of High Fiber Oatmeal, 1 packet Splenda, 1 Tbl Natural Reduced Fat Peanut Butter (Calories- 350) + Creamer in coffee (Calories: 30) Breakfast Total: 380

This is one of my higher calorie breakfasts but at this point I'm having a hard time hitting my calorie target of 1600 a day so for now this still works; I know that eventually I'll need to stick to something lower cal. In this one meal there is 12g of fiber!

Snack #1: 1 1/2 cups of green apples w/ 2 tbls

natural reduced fat peanut butter (Calories: 270)

This has quickly become my favorite snack!

Lunch: This is the only meal I didn't snag a pic of :( Every day this week I will have the same thing for lunch though- Chicken Salad on top of romaine lettuce w/ a string cheese. (Calories- 235)

Pre-Workout Snack:

Peanut Butter Cookie Luna Bar yum!!!

(Calories- 180)

Dinner:

2 white corn mini tortillas, 2 grilled chicken tenders, 2 tbl fat free sour cream, 2 tbl guac, 2 tbl salsa and 1 cup whole grain brown rice. (Calories: 478)

Mexican food is my absolute favorite (partly b/c I have a serious love for guacamole) so I eat it at least 2-3 times per week!

Grand Total of New Way of Eating Calories: 1,543

And now, the old way- I tried to give an accurate depiction of how I was eating right before I started this journey, so here we go:

Breakfast:

For about a month straight this was what I had every morning: McDonald's Sausage McMuffin with egg and a hashbrown. I also would have a large vanilla iced coffee w/ extra cream and sugar for breakfast and then grab another one around lunch time. (Calories: (including lunch time coffee) 1,200).

Holy CRAP! That is almost what I eat in one day!

Lunch:

I work right by a Wendy's and got my favorite meal quite a few times a week: 5pc nuggets, value french fry, cripsy chicken sandwhich, and a large coke and of course I had to dip it all in tons of ranch! (Calories- 1,050!)

Wow.wow.wow.

Dinner:

By the time I got home from work I was exhausted (I wonder why with all the crap I was eating) and I didn't have the energy or "know how" to really cook anything so I settled for a dinner like this on the nights that I didn't eat out:

Totino's frozen pizza (and yes I ate the whole thing- who knew that there was actually 2 servings in the box! lol) and a side of chips with french onion dip! (Calories: 1,270)

Grand Total for 1 day of OLD way of eating: 3,520 calories!!! No freakin wonder I weighed 352lbs!!!

Can you believe that? I was eating an additional 1,977 calories more than I do now!

Wowzer. Once you get into the habit of eating healthier it kind of just becomes second nature and you forget just how big of a change you really have made- at least I did! I definitely needed this little encouragement today- b/c that's exactly how looking at this difference makes me feel- encouraged :)

Isn't it funny that if you had asked me six months ago if I ate unhealthily I probably would have told you... "not really." B/c you always just assume that someone out there is eating 6 hamburgers in one sitting and when you don't look back on all that you have eaten that day (like you do when you are journaling your food) it is easy to forget just how much you really have eaten!

I've changed and I will NEVER go back to eating that way that again; I was killing myself.

If you need some extra encouragement today I suggest you try out this little experiment- it will (hopefully) show you just how much you've changed as well!

p.s. I would just like to thank Kyle for giving me the Getting Better and Better Tip Top Award! Kyle is kicking butt on his own journey and tells it like it is- check him out!

Alright bloggies- keep taking steps forward today b/c together we can do this!

Peace and Love!

Day# 33: Using My Noggin'!

Yesterday's workout was R-O-U-G-H.

I've been doing roughly 1 hour of cardio 5x's a week (30 min on Mr. T and 30 on the upright bike) with no problem- truthfully, (to my own surprise) I really enjoy working out and pushing myself to do things that I didn't think I could. However, last night I felt like my legs weighed a bazillion pounds and it literally was all I could do to to keep myself on that treadmill for the full 30 minutes- but I did and I was proud of myself :)

I went home wondering why in the world I just felt so sluggish during my workout- that had never happened to me before and at this point in the game working out should be getting easier, not harder. And then the culprit to my sluggishness was discovered- I hadn't eaten since noon and it was 6pm! No wonder I felt like a dead turd! You would think it would be fairly obvious that not eating for 6 hours would not provide me with enough energy for a great workout but needless to say, I wasn't usin' the old noggin!

And this got me thinking- did I really even know what it was I was suppposed to be eating before and after a workout? The simple answer- No. So I spent the evening doing some research and here's what I found out:

It is helpful to not just eat before or after a workout but both.

Benefits to eating BEFORE a workout: Helps give your body the energy that it needs to work hard so that you can burn calories/fat, helps settle your stomach and avoid hunger, prevents low blood sugar, and fortifies your mental state by knowing that your body is fueld. This might just sound like a bunch of mumbo jumbo but let me tell you what, I know that I would have felt a million times better during my workout and been able to burn WAY more calories had I made sure I had fueled my body properly.

Pre-Workout Snacks:
- Protein Bar
- Veggies
- Sports Drink
- Bread
- Fruits

Avoid: Foods rich in Fiber and Fat.

Benefits to eating AFTER a workout: Studies have shown that 15-60 minutes after a workout is the optimal time to eat carbohydrate and protein rich foods because it is at that time that you have a "metabolic window"- This means that enzymes that replenish muscle carbs are at their highest levels. Plus, insulin, which rebuilds protein stores, is at peak levels. So eating a carb-and-protein mix at this point will maintain muscle, replenish glycogen stores, and reduce the amount of fat your body stores.

Post-Workout Snacks:
- Turkey on a whole wheat bagel
- Banana
- Orange Juice
- Egg
- Peanut Butter Sandwhich
- Yogurt w/fruit
- Bagel w/ lite cream cheese
- Handful of nuts

As far as WHAT TIME you should eat- about 1 hour before and within 15-45 minutes after.



Before researching this subject I was really just guessing at what I thought was good to eat, but now I know the right way to fuel my body so that a workout doesn't feel like torture! I'm guessing most of you already knew this stuff but in the rare case that someone was like me and was clueless- there you go! :)



I'm hitting the gym again tonight, but this time I'll be munching on one these little tastes of heaven... Luna Bars! (Peanut Butter Cookie). These babies are packed w/ protein (9gs) and I'll see if these provide me w/the energy I need to give it my all in the gym!

Yesterday's slugfest also reminded me that I need to be more consious of eating my 6 small meals a day- I really shouldn't have gone 6 hours without eating- I'm prepared today!

So let's hear it- do you eat before/after you workout? What are your favorite pre/post workout snacks?

Day #33: Food Friends.

Hey Kiddos!

Alright, I'm back to my normal self again- just a momentary crisis :)

In case you haven't figured it out yet I am a person of order and planning and when my day gets thrown off like it did yesterday, (waking up super late, not being able to bring my lunch, and being without a phone all day) can send me into a bit of a tizzy- but after riding the wave and spending 2 hours at the Verizon store- I emerged victorious! Check it out- I know that I initially said I would be posting progress pics monthly, but I think I'm going to stick to putting one up after every 20lbs (so a new pic in 12lbs from now) that I lose- so just to show that I've been making progress (and to show you my cute new phone) I thought I'd share a pic that I took this morning- fyi: this is the first picture I've seen that I am starting to be able to tell a difference! :)

Alright, so on to today's topic! This post was actually inspired by something Diane wrote a few weeks back and is a major key to how I got to be 352lbs as well as to how I will stay on track to lose 100lbs this year!

I've shared before that eating out w/friends and family has pretty much been my norm for a long long time. In college I probably ate out at least 14 of the 21 meals you eat per week and visited Starbucks at least 4x's a week. In another post I explained how I've recently figured out that being able to eat out provided me with a sense of control over my life and "normalcy;" and as we all know eating out w/out being seriously cautious can lead to consuming almost a days worth of calories in one meal!

Clearly, a sense of control wasn't the only reason I enjoyed eating out- it's fun! I'm a very social person and my line of work requires me to go to a lot of meetings and events that usually encompass some sort of meal. The more and more I examine my life the more I realize that almost everything I do revolves around food; if a friend and I get together it's usually at a restaurant or at least over coffee, it's just what we do. One plan of action is to begin centering what I do with friends around other things than just eating out, we can take walks, etc. but being realistic w/ my lifestyle and what I enjoy, I'm just having to learn how to do it in a healthy way.

(March 09)

Now, onto what Diane had written about: Do you have or perhaps are you a "food friend?" I define a "food friend" as someone with whom you primarily socialize with through food. And I have been on both sides of this coin! As I reflected on Diane's post I realized how many friends I have that have probably gained a few pounds just from hanging around me! I can think back to mulitple different instances where I've had friends say that they actually were going broke because of the amount of times I would "cause" them to go out to eat with me. How sad is that? And from another aspect, I've also been the person that people know that they can call if they want to go out to eat b/c unless I was busy I would usually always go and they wouldn't have to feel bad about spending the money or eating unhealthily. Wow- that's crazy. Isn't it funny how easy it is to overlook things like this when you're in the middle of them? Ay yay yay.

I really have turned a corner in regards to this- I eat out maybe 2-3 times a week now (which may sound like a lot but when it used to be more like 12-14 times, you've gotta give me props!) and I've found other ways to bond and have fun w/friends. But old habits die hard and just the other day I had a free evening and was wanting to go out to eat (nothing bad, I promise!) and I texted a friend to see if she was up to it and she said no because she had to go the gym! Well pin a rose on my nose! At first I got kind of offended b/c I was thinking that the gym is kind of optional- it wasn't like she had to work or had a meeting or something, but then I was like HELLOOOOOO- I should be doing the same thing! She wasn't willing to compromise her health and what she needed to do to reach her goals just for fun or b/c of the pressure of not wanting to say no- what resolve!

All of that to say- I want my relationships to be based on things other than just eating out and I certainly don't want to be the friend that causes others to gain weight! Eating out is a part of life (at least mine) and learning to do it in moderation and in a healthy way is key for me!

How about you guys? Anyone ever feel like you are responsible for causing others to gain weight or that people have used your love of food for their own advantage? Haha- wow, that sounds so positive! lol Sorry! :)

Peace out girl ... and boy (sorry Kyle!) scout!

Day #32: I Care.

Discovered my cell phone was broken at midnight= no suitable alarm clock= waking up an hour and fifteen minutes late for work= looking like poop and no breakfast (OR COFFEE!)= bad. bad. morning.

This morning it hit me. The feeling that I was pretty much waiting for and wondering where it had been. The feeling that came before every other unsuccessful attempt at changing my life; and it comes in the form of this thought: "I just don't really care anymore."

Thoughts so similar to this kept running through my mind this morning as I was stressing out that there was literally nothing healthy for me to grab for a quick breakfast on the go (I was already like 15 minutes late) and I just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and say, "WHATEVER! Who cares anymore!"

Don't ask me where these thoughts came from or what brought them on; I could't have been ahppier with yesterday's weigh in and I know that it's getting close to that time of the month but geez louise am I feeling like I'm riding an emotional roller coaster.

And then even I began to feel terrible for allowing myself to think thoughts about giving up or about this not mattering and it all made me fear the possibility of failure- of me giving up. And then I realized that there are 2 key words in that sentence... FEAR and ME.

I've probably said it 20 times in the past week but it's a big job to realize that just because fear exists doesn't mean that it has to stay a reality, it's just a feeling, just an illusion. The more important part of this is ME. I feel like sometimes we think that our success on this journey is truly out of our hands and is based on some cosmic decision of the universe as to what our lives are destined to be like. But that is a bunch of bull. I have read time and time again on blogs where people have a defeatist attitude and when they don't have a good number on the scale they think that it is destiny and that they might as well stop trying instead of reevaluating what they could do better next time or measuring their success by other means than the scale alone. Please don't think that I'm trying to be mean or insensitive- I'm feeling right now the way you've felt but it's time to wake up and realize that WE are in control of our what goes in our mouths and what we do with our bodies, not anyone or anything else.

If I decide that I really do care- and I DO. And I decide whether I'm giving up- and I'm NOT. Then I am the one (and the ONLY one) who gets to decide if I succeed- and I WILL.

I learned an invaluable lesson yesterday that was so timely considering how I would feel this morning: Feeling tempted (whether it be to eat something bad, to not excercise, or to give up) is not a sign that the end is near and that you are doomed to fail, it simply is an opportunity for you to exhibit your dedication to a new way of life.

So if you are like me and you've been having some not-so-positive thoughts lately, don't get down on yourself for having them! They are nothing more than thoughts that can either be listened to or completely ignored. When you feel tempted to do any of the above don't get down on yourself, look at it as an opportunity for you to prove your own strength, as a sign that your old habits are getting ready to bite the dust and they are making one last valiant attempt at staying alive and taking control of your life.

Whew! Just needed to get that off of my chest! Today I'm going to be reading back over some of the major reasons that I want to lose weight so that I can stay focused and keep my eyes on the prize!

Have a wonderful day bloggy buddies and realize that the decisions you make today are either taking you closer or farther from your goal- which do you chose?

Shout Out: [This will be a new addition to Project 365! This may not be a daily occurence but I have really been wanting to give props to some bloggers that just plain fierce and have played major roles in helping me along my way!]

Installment #1- TJ! Before even beginning my blog I had been reading a few of the more "popular" ones (including TJ's) and when I finally decided to begin blogging TJ was one of the first people to encourage me and consistantly comment on my crazy thoughts. She is sweet, knowledgable, and has lost some serious poundage! If you are looking to be inspired to cook some crazy delicious meals you should check her out- she's also having a SA-WEEET giveaway! So congrats TJ- you have officially received the 1st Project 365 Shout Out! :)

Peace Out!