Day #19: To Count or Not to Count...That is My Question!

Morning lovelies!

So as you can see over there on the right hand side of my blog, one of my January goals is to come up with 3 new healthy creations this month! Well, last night I knocked out 2 of 'em! One of my attempts was a success and well the other...not so much!

Let's start with the good news...Tuna Salad! (HAHA- Don't hate on the simplicity- baby steps peeps, baby steps!) I made this with 3 cans of tuna, some ff mayo, mustard (yum!), 2 hard boiled egg whites, celery, and tons of garlic powder! I'll be having this today for lunch by putting it on top of some romaine!

And now for the "not so good"... the brussels :(

Now, I've gotta say- it wasn't a complete failure b/c first of all I tried something I would have NEVER tried in the past which is a victory in and of itself and when I tasted them they didn't make me want to gag...so that's a good thing right? lol Well, for someone who really doesn't like many veggies that's a good thing! However, they were pretty dry and just...not great. I could have forced myself to eat them but instead they ended up in the trash! Here's how I made them: I cut them in half and drizzeld them with a combination of olive oil, garlic, onions, lemon juice, and salt and pepper and threw em in the oven for 15 minutes at 350 degrees. Oh well- at least I tried! :)

Alright, and now on to today's topic/confession/question:

When I started my healthy eating habits back in November, I decided that the best way for me to keep my nutrition in check would be to count POINTS and write everything down. I did this mainly because I kept reading everywhere how beneficial (and some would say necessary) it is to keep a food journal. I was able to successfully do this a few days and many weeks haven't gone by that I haven't tried to "re-start" counting PTS, but I just have a really hard time making it work. I don't have a hard time at all eating healthy it's just the calculating all of the PTS and writing them down for every meal.

Here's the confession part- I haven't been "tracking" for 2 weeks now (well, I didn't eat last week so really for 1 week :). My eating has been absolutely STELLAR- it's just that I don't track PTS; but I'm feeling guilty b/c I FEEL like I should be. I'm blaming it on my perfectionist attitude- you see, I have NO problem tracking for bkfast and lunch because I pretty much eat the same thing every day, but dinner is always the one meal that is always a variable for me. So here's how my day/tracking usually goes- I'll easily track my bkfast, snacks, and lunch but then dinner will come and I'll either eat out or something along those lines and not really know what the EXACT PTS are and then since I feel like I can't be completely accurate, I don't want to do it at all. I know that the all or nothing attitude isn't good, and I don't have it in regards to actually EATING healthy, just tracking.

So then I started wondering if maybe counting calories would be a little more realistic for me. My thought process behind this is that I don't have to carry the little POINT calculator around trying to figure it all out, calories are always given (for the most part) and it seems that a lot of people have success with doing this so maybe it would work for me. Yesterday was my first day counting calories and I've gotta say I do find it easier than tracking POINTS.

And then one little part of me says...why count anything at all? Just because other people do it doens't mean that I HAVE to; I feel like I've learned the basics of nutrition and portioning and that I can tell how much is too much. Eating healthy and sensible portions really isn't a struggle for me so I don't believe that I would miss/need the accountability of journaling. Maybe it would be ok for me not to track/count all of the time but just do it every once in awhile to give myself an idea of where I am and make sure I'm staying within my goals.

AM I BEING LAZY OR REALISTIC HERE?

Seriously, give me some advice please! I want to do whatever is going to be most helpful for me and will cause me to reach my goals- regardless of how annoying or tedious it may be.

Should I go back to tracking POINTS? Should I try counting calories? Should I do neither and see what happens?

Help por favor! :)

Day #17 & #18: Lessons from Fasting

Whew! Can I just say that I am SOOOO glad that life is back to normal? I mean, last week was great and all but I'm a girl who likes routine and I'm definitely excited that this should be a relatively "routine" week! Also, sorry that I didn't post yesterday, it's really important to me that I blog every day for 2 reasons: 1) For my own accountability (it is easy for me to push eating healthy and excercising to the side so blogging about it daily keeps it in the front of my mind) and 2) I think it's annoying when I'm following a blog and a person goes 4 or 5 days without posting. Just tellin' the truth! :) So, I'm sorry! I will only use 10 post "skip" days for this entire year so yesterday will count as my first one.

Alright, as promised I wanted to just share quickly about somethings that I found interesting/ observed during my fast last week. For clarification, from last Sunday till this past Saturday I only consumed: water, coffee, and juice. Again, this had nothing to do with trying to lose weight or for any health related purpose- it was about my relationship with God.

Needless to say, going a week without food did teach me a few things about this journey that I'm going on in 2010; here are a few things that I found interesting...

- I truly found it 10 times easier to eat nothing than I do to make heatlhy choices. I think something that I have picked up in the past few months has really been the transition from living to eat to eating to live. I don't have the same desire to eat just because I want to anymore- I eat because I need food for nutrition. Seriously- there were times last week that I thought to myself, if it weren't for the fact that I would die and that it is extremely unhealthy, I would be ok to never eat again. Please hear me out- I know that statement could sound REALLY bad- all I'm saying is that I found it way easier to cut food out of my life than I thought it would be.

- Eating healthy is a decision- plain and simple. I know this might seem like a no brainer but this little revelation hit me about mid week when I was super tempted to go and get a cup of soup. This is the conversation that was going on in my head..."Tiffany, you said you were only going to do liquids, potatoe soup is liquid right? No- it's not a liquid if you have to chew the potatoes in the soup! Well, maybe I'll just take the potatoes out. Are you making this decision because you truly think it is ok or because you are hungry? Well, it's because I'm hungry-c'mon, I haven't eaten all week, don't I deserve a measly cup of soup- besides, who is going to know? No, you can do better than this- you made a commitment to God and to yourself, now stick to it- you can do this." And I did.

No lie- this is a conversation that many of us have with ourselves every day- I know I do. We have made a decision not to drink soda or eat chips or whatever it is and we try to rationalize it away; we tell ourselves, "But I've been good all week, what's a few chips really going to do in the long run, no one is going to know, etc." But in the end we have got to realize that we aren't cheating anyone but ourselves when we cheat and that every time we give in to a temptation we are weakening our ability to say no (can you tell I've been reading the Beck-ster?) :) And let me tell you, once I had that conversation in my mind- the decision was made and it was like a switch was flipped- I had made up my mind and there was no longer the option of "cheating;" I am working to flip this same switch in my mind in regards to my healthiness journey.

So there you have it- I learned a lot, accomplished a lot, and I'm glad A LOT that it's over :)

I'll leave you with my breakfast from this morning~it was super yummy and super low-cal! I had an breakfast sandwhich (whole wheat english muff, ff american cheese, egg beaters egg whites) and the NEW Fiber One Yogurt (Strawberry Flavor)!

The sandwhich was super yummy! I was a little skeptical about how good it would be using only egg whites and fat free cheese but honestly- you couldn't even tell! And heck, for only 175 cals, I'll take it! I picked up the yogurt yesterday after receiving a coupon to try it for free in the mail and let me tell you it is great! The yogurt contains 0g fat, 5g fiber, 3g protein, and only 50 cals! Bringing the breakfast cal total to 225 :)

Alright ya'll- there are only 2 weeks left in January, let's make sure that we are giving it our best so that we can look back on this month and say that we gave it out all! Remember, today is tomorrow!

Day #16: A Peanut for a Stomach....

Lo siento for the late post amigos!

I'm elated to say that after 7 days my fast is officially over! And interestingly enough, when I stepped on the scale this morning I saw that I was down 7lbs. I'm obviously not counting that as real weight lost but it is my goal to remain at the same weight at my next weigh in (next Sunday) and if I do that means I will have successfully lost a total of 26lbs! But even if I do see a few pounds gained back next week it will be ok- that was my choice and it was worth the sacrifice.

Tomorrow I'm going to share about some of the things that I learned while fasting so be excited! :)

Here is a pic of my wonderfully amazing lunch from today- Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo from Olive Garden... needless to say I was full after about 5 bites but I uh...made it work! :)
Tomorrow I'll be whipping up some Tuna Salad for my lunches next week and I'll also be trying out the brussel sprouts that I bought today at Trader Joe's- I'm a little nervous about the sprouts but I've gotta achieve those January goals!

Peace-n-love!

Day #15: I'm a Hungry Girl

I'm sure many of you have heard of the popular website Hungry Girl. If you haven't been over there to check it out yet- do it now! Well...after you finish reading my post of course :) Lisa Lillien, the brains behind the Hungry Girl books and website, has found her newest fan in yours truly.

You see, I have a confession to make... I have absolutely no desire to become a foodie/chef extraordinaire. I know, I know... stone me now.

Calm down masses, calm down- hear me out! When I first started reading some of your blogs a few months ago and began my own journey a little over 2 months ago it seemed that every post I read contained beautiful pics of some crazy fabulous concauction that could put Martha Stewart to shame and I felt... overwhelmed and almost ashamed that the most adventurous thing I have cooked thus far has been chicken salad! hahaha

But you know what I've decided- I don't have to be a master chef nor even have the desire to become one in order to eat healthy and lose weight. Don't get me wrong, of course since I am learning to eat healthy foods that I have never even tried before I'm going to end up learning more about cooking and even try some adventurous stuff now and then- but cooking is just not a passion of mine- that's ok...right? :)

That's why when I picked up the Hungry Girl Cookbook I was so suprised at how I couldn't put it down! And BELIEVE me, I do not have a thing for cookbooks- it seems like every time I pick one up a recipe calls for some crazy herb that sounds like a disease and stuff that you just don't find in normal life. But the Hungry Girl Cookbook was written for people like me! People who don't necessarily have a desire to become the next Rachel Ray but need to learn some new healthy ways to eat some old favorites! It is so great that I actually cannot wait to whip up at least 3 or 4 of her recipes this week- stuff like twice baked potatoes, tacos, tuna melts, and chili- but for under 300 calories!

I hope that I haven't offended any of you foodies out there- I think that your passion for creating beautiful, interesting, and healthy food is amazing (and I wish that I could taste every single thing you make)! But I just want to encourage those of you out there who are like me and really just want to eat healthier and lose weight- you will have to try new foods most likely and it will definitely entail learning to make things in new ways but if you aren't the best cook (or maybe don't care to be) then it's ok! You can still eat healthily and you can still lose weight!

Now just so that I don't dissapoint my dear foodie friends like the master chef TJ- I thought I'de share some of the new things that I will be picking up at the grocery store this weekend that I've never tried before:

- Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges

- Almond Butter

- Veggie burger patties

- Almond Breeze Unsweetened Soy Milk

- Naan Bread

- Brussel Sprouts (a little nervous about these :)

Any more suggestions?

Hopefully you all still love me even though you won't be able to satisfy your visual food cravings here at Project 365- or at least not very often :)

Hope you all have a fabulous Friday!

p.s. As I wrote about on Monday, I have been on an all liquid fast this week and I am OH SO HAPPY to say that I will be eating my first meal in 7 days tomorrow at noon! As I mentioned before this fast was not about losing weight but about refocusing my life to be centered around God and I really just needed clarity on some things and I think that happened this week. As far as weighing in goes- I will weigh myself in the morning just for the fun of knowing how much I actually lost and I'll record it on my blog but I'm not realistically counting it as any weight lost until I weigh in on my next weigh in day (next Sunday). I know that this may mess with (and set back) my weight loss a little and even some of my goals but as important as this is- it isn't the MOST important thing; in fact it shouldn't be the most important thing in anyone's life. So tomorrow I am meeting some other friends who joined in on the fast this week at Olive Garden and I am seriously going to eat whatever I want! I'm guessing that I probably won't get past a few breadsticks and a bowl of salad as my stomach has probably shrunk to the size of a peanut but I'm going to give it all I've got! HAHA- and then come Sunday, it's back to real life where I can eat healthy food and excercise again :)

Peace Out Beauties!

Day #14: Here's How...

Morning lovelies!


(*First off- thank you guys so much for your encouraging words on yesterday's post- I was seriously having a very bad day (not b/c of posting the pics) and it totally put a smile on my face to realize how much support I have in you all! Hugs to you!*)





- Warning: long post ahead :) -



Yesterday I spent a lot of time asking myself a question that I TRULY had never even thought about before: How did I get to this point? You would think that a 23 year old who weighed 352lbs would wonder (or even care to ask) how it is that they came to be that way- but like I've said, my weight was never a big deal to me so I'm guessing that's why I didn't ever think about it.



There have a been a few times that I've wanted to write a post on this subject but I hadn't up until this point for 2 reasons: 1- I didn't really know the answer and 2- I'm not someone who likes to play the blame game; I would much rather just move forward then go back and figure out how I got this way, but this morning it hit me- People don't just weigh 350lbs for no reason- it's not like that is normal or average.



If I don't learn what caused me to become obese then I have no way of knowing if I am following that same path again- if I want to move forward into a new way of life, then I need to understand why the old way didn't work.



All of that to say... I believe that I've come to understand at least some of the reasons why I am in the situation I am.



I experienced a lot of turbulent times in my childhood. My earliest memories are of my parents using drugs, me bouncing around living with a combination of grandparents, lots of fighting and confusion- it was a lot for a child as young as 5 to deal with. The weird thing about my family though is that there is NO shortage of love- even though things are SO seriously messed up, I have never ONCE felt unloved or uncared for. Both of my sets of grandparents have raised me and are amazing people who love me unconditionally; my parents on the other hand just never grew up and are really destructive people- but I am completely convinced that they love me. But because of how turbulent and crazy my life was I believe that I saw food as really the only constant in my life- while everything else was just completely out of my control and I often felt helpless, food was the one thing that never changed and that I did have a say over.



I don't believe that I ate because I was filling some void or because I was numbing any sort of pain- I know myself and that wasn't it and still isn't it. It is all an issue of control. And I know it is because I continued to live like that through college (aka- the last 4 years of my life). Out of all of my friends I have always been the one to want to go out to eat or go to Starbucks- if we did anything fun I always wanted to include "going out to eat" or "getting coffee" to. It really wasn't because I just loved food so much- it was because as I got older and had a life (and money) of my own- being ABLE to eat out and as often as I'd like gave me a sense of control over my life. I know this because there would be times while I was at college that I would be low on cash (like every other college student) and wouldn't be able to afford going out to eat or getting coffee and I would feel...panicky. And then as soon as I would have money again the first thing I would do would be to go out to eat and then life would feel normal again, like everything was okay, and that I hadn't lost control.



For the last 4 years I would say that out of the 21 meals that you are supposed to eat a week I easly ate out for 14 of them and probably went to starbucks at least 3-4 times per week. I can't say for sure but I would guess I was consuming roughly 3,000-3,500 calories a day. And the whole time I was doing this I was doing it because I thought that me being able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted meant that I was in control and that my chaotic family life was no longer the controlling force in my life. Boy was I wrong!



Just this morning I realized that while I thought that because I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted meant that I was in control of my life, I was completely wrong. By eating myself into an early grave I was actually still allowing the chaos of my family to drive me to unhealthy habits- meaning they were still totally in control.



What I'm going to have to learn now is that I cannot allow my definition of being in control of my life and everything being "okay" to be that I can eat out and eat whatever I want- because that isn't being in control at all. My new definition of being in control and living a life that I am happy with is going to mean me making the decisions that I am blessed to be able to make- to eat healthily, to excercise, to buy healthy food that I can afford, to say no to foods that I don't want to eat, to not give into social food peer pressure.



My new definition of being in control: To be the one calling the shots in my life- not food, family, or friends.



So in short- although I'm sure I'll discover more of the reasons as to why I'm overweight along this journey- I believe that the biggest contributing factors were:


1) Feeling the need to have a sense of consistancy and control in my life from a young age due to a rocky family life.


2) Excessive eating out (aka calorie intake) which was caused by a need to feel that my life was normal and that things were ok.


3) A lack of excercise and healthy eating, which was simply because I wasn't unhappy with my weight or the way I looked.



Whew! Well that's all I've got :)



I would LOVE to hear any thoughts that you might have- this is literally something that I've come up with in the past 48 hours so I could use any thoughts of clarity that I could get!



Finally, I leave you with a peak at some fabulous goodies that I picked up yesterday- more about these later!

Change your life today bloggers- you guys deserve it!

Day# 13: Ehhh....

Alright, so let's just get it over with...

I'm a girl who is true to my word, so as promised- I'm posting the BEFORE pics. Mind you this is already 2 months into my journey and 19lbs lower than my starting weight- but I don't think I've seen any dramatic changes so I'm guessing these are still pretty accurate. I'll also be posting new pics at the beginning of every month, so here's January's:

I'm pretty much just speechless.

If you read some of my earliest posts you will remember that I sometimes forget that I even need to lose weight because I TRULY do not see myself as being obese. But then I look at these pics and I swear that if I didn't know it was me I probably wouldn't even believe it. How did this happen?

I'm going to spend the rest of this week asking myself and praying about that very question: How and why did this happen?

However- I refuse to sit here and beat myself up and make myself feel sick about this- even though that is exactly what I feel like doing. I have made the decision to change and have already begun to change (I've lost almost 20lbs already!) These pictures will no longer be a part of my life other than to be used in 352 days from now when I can look back and realize how far I've come and how strong I am.

There will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER be another picture of me that looks like this- mark my words. This is not who I am and not who I was created to be. This is enough- no more.

Inhale....Exhale.....and I'm moving forward.

On a happier note- I went to Target yesterday and picked up my new digital camera with the Biggest Loser money! I even scored a pretty sweet deal- I got the camera, memory card, and case for $150! Here's me showing my new camera a little love!

Change your life today bloggers!

Day #12: Part 2- My 1st Blog Award :)

I would like to thank all of the little people.... bahahaha JUST KIDDING!

So I received my very first ever blog award! See isn't it nice:

Thanks Olivia, you are a rather beautiful blogger yourserlf!

And now I'm supposed to share 7 things that you probably don't know about me- fun! Here we go...

1) I am an only child.

It's funny-I usualy get one of 2 reactions out of people when I tell them I don't have any siblings- they either are completely shocked or say..."yea- that makes sense." LOL I think I would rather get the first response! My friends have all asked me if I liked being an only child and I've gotta say that because of how crazy my family is it was probably a good thing that I didn't have siblings- I definitely wouldn't have had the opportunities that I have if there were 3 or more of us; however, I can't lie- it would be nice to have siblings now that I'm older. Oh well- being spoiled by my grandparents wasn't such a bad thing :)

2) I can yodel.

It's true. In fact the only reason I share this with you all is because you can't make me show you! LOL. It's funny- I've been singing my whole life but I never knew that I could yodel until I was listening to a Leann Rimes cd and a song where she was yodeling came on (btw- the song was "Cowboy's Sweetheart") and I just followed along and have been able to do it ever since!

3) I have a weird crush on Dwight from The Office.

I know, I know- he is not the most attractive person in the world but for some reason I find him so stinkin' cute- maybe it's just because I think he is the funniest person in the world...Ugh- I may need help. :)

4) I could eat ranch dressing on absolutely anything...except salad.

Yep- that is a ranch dressing fountain...HEAVEN! I am most definitely a ranch-a-holic. I could and used to eat it on everything: french fries, baked potatoes, wings, chicken strips, pizza, steak, chicken, bread, get the point? The only food that I really much care for ranch dressing on is salad- not sure why that is exactly. I remember one time my friend's dad took us to this fancy shmancy restaurant in Phoenix called "The Cork and Cleaver" and I put ranch dressing all over a filet mignon that was at least $39.99- yeah...I remember getting some strange looks from across the table :) Needless to say my ranch obsession has definitely been squashed since changing my eating habits but it will always hold a dear place in my heart :)

5) I have an insane fear of getting lice.

Yep- lice blows and I am pretty darn afraid of getting it...again. I had lice 4 times when I was younger and I was at least moderately scarred for life! Ok maybe it's not that bad but let me tell you that any time I sit in a seat at the movies, fly in an airplane, or lay in a dentist's chair I am always afraid that I am going to get lice! lol And you KNOW that I never use anyone else's hairbursh or let them use mine- even though people find it semi-offensive when you won't use them...but oh well- at least I won't have bugs in my hair! LOL- Am I a freak? :)

6) I can speak Spanish.

And it's all thanks to Dora! Juuusttt kidding :) Growing up in Arizona where the population is at least 45% hispanic, Spanish was already all around me and then I studied it for 4 years while in school and soon became fluent. I've gotta say that I truly love Speaking it and wish that I had more opporutnities to but now that I live in PA you might guess that there really aren't that many :)

7) I don't like chocolate.

This does not look appealing to me AT ALL. It's not that I HATE chocolate- but I really just dont' like it. Just looking at that picture makes me feel like I need to drink an entire bottle of water. I know most of you wish that you didn't like chocolate either but believe me, what I lack in my love for chocolate, I more than make up for with my love of chips, french fries, and ranch dressing :)

So there you go- you officially know 7 more things about me than you did before reading :)

And now I'm supopsed to nominate 7 other beautiful bloggers for this illustrious award (p.s.-you only have to do the "7 things" if you wanna!)

These are some ladies that I not only think are "beautiful bloggers" but also inspire me every day to keep going so enjoy your blog award girls!

1) Dawne @ 365 days to a new me! 2) Bobbie @ Anonymous Fat Girl! 3) Foodie girl @ For me! 4) Adorkable @ Journey to a cuter tush! 5) Kassey @ Not your typical, average, college girl! 6) The Phat Nanny! and 7) Joania @ Blueprint 2010!

Peace Out Girl Scout!