Losing Weight & Not Your Significant Other

Losing weight is hard- period. And for me, losing weight became harder when I moved from singledom to having a boyfriend (my now hubby!). Why you ask? Because D loves him some food. Like... a lot. Don't believe me? 

I have proof: 

 I told you. 

Earlier today a bloggy friend wrote me expressing that she was now having trouble continuing to lose weight now that she is in a relationship and as I wrote her back from my experience and with some advice I thought that surely this could be helpful to others because the truth is that it's a lot easier to deny yourself and go into 100% hardcore weight loss mode when you are single and your choices are directly effecting someone else. 

Let me preface this by saying that I've done nothing but lose weight since D & I started dating 11 months ago but it has not been without struggle. I found that when we would go on dates that I felt like turning down the opportunity to feed each other ice cream and bake cookies together just didn't seem fair- I felt like I was missing out on some essential dating right of passage or something. And because I was far from my heaviest at the time, it was easy to slack a little here and there. For a few months during our dating relationship, I found myself quite comfortable in maintenance mode. The problem with that is that I wasn't at a weight I wanted to maintain- I still had more to lose and I needed to stop living, thinking & eating as if I had already reached my goal. 

It's hard to tell the person you love who just wants to do nice things for you and have fun adventures (that include food) that you just can't or that they are going to have to rethink their plans in order to accommodate your healthy living choices. It's hard, but not impossible. 

For example, the other night D lovingly texted me that he was going to pick up dinner for us on his way home from work (so sweet!); however, although I made sure to ask that he get me something healthy (which was hard enough) he decided to come home with BBQ ribs, pulled pork, mashed potatoes & garlic bread...REALLY!!?!?! 

After dinner he could tell that I was kind of quiet and when he asked what was up we had a very honest conversation where I explained that when I eat something that is unhealthy, it's not the same as it is for him where he just thinks, "Yea, that wasn't very healthy or nutritious, oh well, it was delicious and so worth it!" I explained that for me, when I eat things like that it's more than just a feeling of guilt that I feel, it's a feeling of defeat. I feel defeated because I know that I'm not making decisions that are going to lead me where I want to go. I think that helped everything click for him because, I believe, that if someone truly loves you, they aren't going to want to contribute to you living in defeat, but victory. And he followed up  by asking what he could do to help me reach my goal; see if you're like me you'd think..."uh, not wouldn't not bringing home BBQ be an obvious answer?" but to the mind of the person who has never been overweight or had 100+lbs to lose, they don't realize that it's not just a cheat meal, it can lead to a cheat meal marathon month. 

So here's the advice that I gave my bloggy friend & that I'm currently living out myself. When it comes to enjoying your relationship/marriage and still reaching your weight loss goals, I suggest: 

• Having a frank and honest conversation with your significant other; share your story of how you became overweight, what your goals are & how they can help you reach them. 
• Find ways to incorporate and enjoy food with them- it doesn't have to be all carrot sticks and protein shakes; make a healthy dessert together or research a new restaurant to go to and check the menu before you go for the healthiest option. 
• At the end of the day, we all have to come to the realization that the only person who is going to make the tough decisions of saying no to food temptation and yes to the gym is us- it's not our significant others. If we are waiting on them to suddenly change their eating patterns or plan our meals for us, we're gonna find ourselves 5 years older, 25lbs heavier and regretting letting ourselves go. 

Losing weight and being married/in a relationship is  possible. It will take sacrifice, planning & hard work, but hey, doesn't anything that's worth something? 

I'm BAAAAAAAAACK as a Mrs!

Why, hello there :)

After taking a post-wedding blogging haiatus, I am so glad to be getting back into the groove of things.

While we've only been married for almost 2 months, it already kinda feels like a lifetime away- did anyone else experience that?

Here are the quick wedding details:

• I married the love of my life early last month- he is the most kind, loving, integrit person I have ever met and I am blessed to be able to live life with him. We met almost 3 years ago, began dating 11 months ago & have been loving every moment of our almost 2 month old marriage! 

(This is the only professional picture we've received back thus far, I'll be sure to post a few more once we get them!)  And yes, I know you can see my bra... :/

• D (that's the hubby fyi), being the amazing man that he is, planned our entire honeymoon on his own and didn't tell me where we were going until the day of the wedding! While I'm still kind of surprised my anal-retentive control freak self let him plan the whole thing without even telling me one detail, I'm glad I did because he did an incredible job. Where'd we go? BOSTON!

Because we are going to be doing a lot of traveling in November (Spain) and December (Arizona to see my fam) we wanted to do a more low key honeymoon so Boston was perfect! I found it to have quite a few similarities architecturally to the 'Burgh but with a way cooler feel. It was laid back yet outdoorsy which is totally us without being crunchy (my word for hippie meets yuppy). The picture above was while we did Boston's Freedom Trail and we spent the rest of our time exploring the various neat little neighborhoods and Boston. All in all, it was a delightful time :)

Weight Loss Journey Progress:

As of Monday I am weighing in at 176lbs, which means a couple things:

1. I have surpassed my original long term goal of weighing 180lbs!!!
2. I have officially lost as much weight as I currently weigh!!! I've lost a whole me- that's craziness, folks. So for those not good at math (tee hee), I've lost a grand total of 176lbs!!!
3. It is past-time for my next round of progress pics (I'll post them next week).
4. Finally, this means that I am 16lbs away from my new final goal of 160lbs.

I  have been on this journey for almost 3 years and while it has been one of the most rewarding and challenging of my life, I am reading for this chapter to come to a close and the chapter of maintenance to begin. In an ideal world I'd like to lose these 16lbs by the time I fly home for Christmas and begin 2013 at my goal weight of 160lbs (this would average a 2lb loss per week) and while I can't guarantee I'll meet that goal (because of factors beyond my control (read: whether my body decides to give up the weight or not), not because of factors I can control (read: inhaling Christmas cookies), I'm going to give everything I have to finish this journey as strong as I deserve to- which is pretty darn strong.

Signing off for this week~I hope all is well with all my old and new bloggy friends out there. It's good to be back :)