What are friends for?

So, I mentioned in my last post that my best friend Erin's wedding is coming up this August and how excited I am about it, remember?

Well, last weekend I roadtripped it over a state in order to attend her bridal shower and it was the first time I had seen her in almost a year exactly as she lives on the other side of the country. Erin and I have been best friends for almost 5 years now and I can honestly say she knows me better than any other person on this planet. When she and I became friends 5 years ago I was well on my way to my heaviest weight ever, which she definitely knew me at as well.

During this weight loss journey, she has been the one person that I have never felt afraid to talk about things with. We shoot it straight with eachother and I knew that she wouldn't just tell me things to make me feel better or at the same time flatter me for no reason- she knows ME and it has been a true joy to share with her over the phone the changes that I've made more mentally than anything and for her to be able to acknowledge the change that has taken place without even seeing me has been pretty dang cool.

Anyways, besides the fact that I was super excited for her bridal shower, I was also SO pumped about her finally being able to see my weight loss progress (when she saw me last time I had lost about 40 pounds, now I was even 60 pounds lighter than that!). When I finally arrived at my destination and we were reunited I could tell how shocked and excited she was, even though she couldn't really show it since we were with her future in-laws and she knew talking about it right away would probaby embarass me, but later when we got some time alone she shared with me something that I truly never really anticipated being a part of this journey...

Besides her noticing the obvious physical differences, she said that one of the most moving parts of seeing me for the first time was that when she introduced me to her future in-laws, the thought didn't even enter her mind- "Oh, they are going to notice/judge that Tiffany is very overweight" but that they were "just going to be introduced to ME"- not me, the overweight friend, but just me.

Honestly that comment was pretty shocking to me because Erin just never made it known that it was something that she or anyone else really even thought about - Lord knows I never really thought/cared about being overweight for whatever reason! And it really just hit me that there really is so much more of an opportunity for people to just get to know ME now- not that no one did before, but I'm sure it was in the thoughts of people much more often than I will ever know.

One of the coolest things about our visit was comparing some pictures we took that weekend to the thousands of pictures we've taken over the course of our friendship (can you say photowhores?? lol). Here- take a look:

We've always enjoyed making crazy faces... 

Except the face I make now only has 1 chin :)

Here's a pic of us at what was very close to my heaviest at my college graduation:

And then one taken the day of her bridal shower:

I don't know how this sounds or what it really means, but even though I wouldn't ever want someone to be my friend just because of the way I look, the fact that Erin's friendship to me has never changed, even when I weighed 352lbs and clearly didn't love myself to much, says so much to me.

I'm continuing to work to uncover the REAL ME that has been hidden underneath layers (both physical & immaterial) and see just what I'm really all about :)



Moving from HOPING to KNOWING.

Guess what??? I'm alive!!!

I've been missing posting & reading your blogs as well- between trying to move to a new apt & a few other things, life has been full & a bit turbulent. One of the great things I've been up to happened this past weekend when I attended my best friends wedding shower! After not seeing her for a year, it was such a blessing and just what I needed. This is the dress I'll be wearing in her wedding this coming August- isn't it so super cute!?!?

I'm hoping to lose another 15lbs before her wedding the first week of August so needless to say I'm doing my best to tear the scale apart! In fact, here's this week's weigh in:

Last Week: 252lbs

This Week: 247lbs (-5lbs)

Total Loss: -105lbs

Pounds to next progress pic: 3lbs

And now, it's time to get real with ya'll:

Now that I'm continuing this journey past a 100lb loss, things have definitely changed. Since beginning this journey over a year ago, I was able to focus like a laser beam on my long term goal- to lose 100lbs- I knew I had to lose at least that and it was still a pretty lofty goal so that's what I was going for. Now that I've achieved that goal (which I am still just amazed by), I kind of find myself a little...directionless. I mean, it's obvious that I still have weight to lose- about 70 more pounds I'm guessing, but it's just kind of weird because I've never been as small as I am and truthfully have NO CLUE what I am even hoping to look like after 70 more pounds.

I talked this over with my beloved trainer JZ this past Sunday during our tri-weekly (is that even a word??lol) training session and he said something that I believe is absolutely true; he said, "Tiff- you know you can lose these 70lbs, you've already lost that + 30 lbs- these last 70lbs though will require more mental than physical effort." I guess, in short I find myself back to wondering...can I really get to a place where I am nowhere near being obese or overweight? That one day I can be completely... normal? I think somewhere deep down I always knew I could lose 100lbs, but I guess I need to take time to really focus and come to KNOW that I can do and be ANYTHING with God's strength coupled with my obedience & effort.

Everything that I've always dreamed about and never really knew if it was possible is within my reach and is even coming into reality even now and I know that I'm worth it, that I deserve it, and that I can do it.