Now What??

So- I have finally reached my first major goal on this journey- I've lost 100+ pounds. Honestly, I really hadn't ever spent much time thinking about or setting goals for anything beyond losing 100lbs- I have been focused like a missle on this goal and now I've had a week to start thinking about the future- answering the question: "Now What?"

 I still don't know what my goal weight is exactly and I don't intend on setting it until I get closer- for me I could care less about the # on the scale, it's about how healthy I am and the way I look- I'm guessing my goal weight will be somewhere between 165-185. I know that # might horrify some as a goal weight, but I'm 5'10'', don't have a small frame as it is, and am pretty muscular. SO- right now my long term goal is to get out of the 200's (which is something still pretty unfathomeable for me); meaning I am gonna be KILLING it on my way to losing the 52lbs needed to hit 199lbs.

Well, now this is where the fun begins. Why? Because reaching this new goal will be nothing like trying to reach my first. Sure, the principles are the same, the sacrifice is the same, much of my routine will be the same but now I get to do it all being able to exercise, knowing how to eat healthily, and most importantly, KNOWING that I can do it. Plus, it's just the truth that now when I lose weight, it is much more noticeable than it was when I was much heavier and it's encouraging to notice the differences. I am more focused now than ever on becoming the healthiest, most fit, hottest (channeling my inner Hannah & Olivia!) me I can be.

I'm looking forward to setting some great June goals and to soon make it into the 240's! That's about it for today folks, I would like to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who offered your congratulations on my last post- it really is great to know that many of you have been reading my blog since I weighed over 300lbs and that some of you are just coming to discover my blog now and it's serving as proof that YOU can do it to! It's a blessing to be able to inspire anyone.

Alright folks, I'm signing off with a pic of my lunch meal for this week (yes I eat the same thing for lunch every day Mon-Fri): Italian Grilled Chicken Breast & Mixed Veggies (Red onion, zucchini, squash, and mushrooms):

Peace & Love Ya'll!

101 Pounds Ago...

101 Pounds Ago...

• Tying my shoes was difficult.
• The # of restaurant chairs I couldn't fit in was increasing.
• I couldn't fly in an airplane without a seat belt extender and having the arm rest up.
• In search of control, I was being completely controlled by food.
• I wore size 28 jeans.
• I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded (and I was 23 years old!)
• I honestly doubted I would ever weigh under 300 pounds.
• I was a slave to circumstances, peer pressure, and emotional eating.
• I dreaded going to amusement parks because I couldn't fit on most of the roller coasters.
• I couldn't drive past a Starbucks without ordering a 500 calorie drink.
• I could workout on the elliptical for longer than 10 minutes without feeling like my heart would beat out of my chest.
• I had never cooked a single vegetable in my life.
• I was intensely afraid of working out at the gym.
• I was in denial of how I became obese & even that my weight was a problem.
• My weight was prohibiting me from fulfilling God's calling on my life.

Today, after losing 101 Pounds...

• I can tie my shoes with no issue.
• I can RUN up stairs without getting winded.
• I know how I became overweight and why/how I will NEVER go back.
• I have shown myself that I am not destined for diabetes and obesity, but greatness.
• I have no fear of working out at the gym and have had multiple people there mention my weight loss.
• I can fly on an airplan without using a seat belt extender.
• I am in control of food & it no longer has any hold on my life!
• I can workout on the elliptical for a limitless amount of time & have become an avid spinner.
• I now wear a size 20 jeans.
• I can go to a restaurant and fit in any chair.
• I have NO doubt that I will be in ONEderland one day soon.
• Starbucks no longer is an addiction of mine & it holds very little appeal.
• I am FREE from circumstancial or peer pressure in regards to food.
• I am one of the strongest, most resilient people I know.
• I regularly eat vegetables & have learned to cook many healthy meals.
• I KNOW that I am worth it!

This past week I lost another 2 pounds which obviously brought me straight to a 101 pound loss. I have been waiting for a LONG time to reach this goal. As I look back on my journals for the past 6 years or so, every friggin year I would set a goal to lose 100lbs and guess what? I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

And guess what? I am SO proud of myself.

Living Healthily in an Unhealthy Office!

Sacrifice.

For real, who likes to do that? Who even likes that word?

However, for most of the people in the world trying to lose weight- it is the one thing they are not willing to do on a consistant basis and causes them to live in a viscious cycle of "I'm gonna do better, I suck, I lost half a pound, I gained two pounds back" etc. Now that I'm only 1 pound away from losing 100lbs, I've found myself pondering how it is that I got here, what was it I did that actually caused me to lose 99lbs. I'm convinced that there is not just one way to lose weight- almost all the diets in the world will work if they are based off of the only principle that works: eat healthier, know what you're eating, move your body. So when people ask me how I've done it I'm always a little hesitant to say because I in no way believe that I've discovered the holy grail of diets or anything, my plan has changed as I've lost weight- but the ONE thing that has stayed consistent throughout the last year and a half that I've been on this journey is this: I've had to sacrifice.

Has it gotten easier? Um...maybe.

Sometimes I feel like work in an office of the most unhealthy eaters in Pittsburgh- no joke. Almost bi-weekly everyone our office will pitch in and have a "food day" where for the entire day everyone eats all day long and the entire office is filled with the smell of greasy-ness. Yesterday was no exception. One of my co-workers fried up about 50 pieces of fried chicken (fyi- there are only like 12 people on my floor) and everyone in our entire 6 story building could smell it and were like ravenous dogs trying to get a piece. All day long my co-workers looked at me like I was crazy for not even trying it & when I told them why they would respond with things like, "Tiffany, you've lost so much weight- one piece of chicken isn't going to hurt!" And you know what, they're probably right. But at the end of the day, they won't be the one standing on the scale feeling bad about myself when I've just maintained and on the flip side, they weren't on the scale with me yesterday morning when I lost another 3lbs. I stood alone in saying no to the chicken and I'm standing alone seeing my waistline SHRINK- not expand.

There are few feelings like the one you get when you realize you aren't controlled by food or the peer pressure surrounding food anymore. It's both liberating and empowering. Did part of me feel bad for not eating the chicken because it made me look a tad snotty and like a party pooper? Yea- a little. Was it worth me feeling bad about myself and feeding into a mindset of defeat? Nope- not even a bit. And listen to this, when I was eating my wheat crackers & hummus for a snack and everyone else was going for their second plate of pasta and fried chicken, a co-worker said, "Tiff, you are hardcore! You are my inspiration to get all of this (points to her stomach) under control." And I can promise you that THAT was more satisfying than any piece of fried meat could ever be.

Bottom line: If you want to lose weight and become the best you possible- get used to sacrificing. A lot. It will suck sometimes, but it will be worth it ALL the time.

Other Updates:

• Yesterday was weigh in day... Last Thursday: 256lbs This Thursday: 253lbs (-3lbs) Total Loss: 99lbs!!!!
• I just bought a pair of size 20 jeans. THAT is crazy. I started out in size 28's.
• I'm thinking about a cool way to celebrate my impending 100lb loss that will hopefully happen next Thursday... hmm...maybe a pedicure!

That's all friends! Do any of you have tips on how to avoid office snacking/unhealthy eating?

FIGHT MODE.

One of the things that has helped me be the most successful in this journey is my mental strength. In fact, I had never realized just how mentally strong I was until I began this journey. However, I feel like it’s important to note that mental strength isn’t something that someone is born with- it’s something that is developed through deliberate choices a person makes that either further reinforce their mental strength into a state of victory or demolishes it, causing them to live in a mental state of defeat. I believe that the battle with weight loss is fought not on the scale, treadmill, kitchen, or gym- but in the mind.



While I believe mental strength is something that comes from a series of deliberate choices, there has to be some help in being able to make those choices in the first place, for me- they are my mantras. Mantras are phrases or words that I repeat in times when I need some extra strength, focus, and motivation to make a right decision. An example of one of my most common ones is: “When I say NO to this food (or choice), I am saying YES to myself and my goals- and if I say YES to this food (or choice), I am saying NO to myself and my dreams.” For me, when I make a decision to eat something I shouldn’t, 99% of the time it is because I have allowed myself to believe that it really isn’t that big of a deal to have that cookie, chips, or bread- but these mantras cause me to remember that while the one cookie may not cause me to gain 5lbs, it is leading me down a path of mental defeat. And it is when decisions like that pile up that you find yourself a few weeks down the road 10lbs heavier (or stuck at the same weight) and feeling like a complete failure. On the flip side, when you decide that you aren’t going to say NO to yourself, your goals, and your dreams anymore because of the temporary satisfaction a chip or cookie brings, you feel proud, strong, and invincible. Nothing is worth that- and you are building that mindset of victory with every decision.

 The other day I looked back at some of the notes I had made for myself at the very beginning of this journey (96lbs ago) and I found it SO interesting how much my mantras have changed between then and now- which I believe shows growth just as much as the scale has.


My Mantras 96lbs Ago:

- I REFUSE to let FEAR cripple me and kept me fat ANY LONGER!
- I am just at the STARTING POINT.
- If I am not embarrassed for people to see me chowing down at a restaurant I shouldn’t be embarrassed for them to see me changing my health and life at the gym!
- People aren’t there waiting to judge overweight people for coming to the gym, they are there for their own workout!
- I am the ONLY ONE who is going to push me to do this!
- I will PUSH MYSELF TO THE LIMITS if I want to accomplish things I never thought possible- I will prove myself and everyone else wrong!
- If I don’t want to have to do this for the rest of my life, I’ve got to give it MY ALL!
- When I only can do a few minutes on a machine…it’s more than I did yesterday!


Reading those reminded me of just how much fear I dealt with at the beginning of this journey- I was so afraid to be judged by people at the gym, so afraid to face the facts of just how out of shape I really was, afraid that becoming this fit, thin person I desired to be wasn’t really possible. What’s amazing is that for the most part, those thoughts never even enter my mind anymore- that’s what victory will do for you.


My Mantras these days are a bit different:

- You are the only one that is going to push you to your limits- you can’t wait for someone else to, because they never will- it’s YOU. Also, no one is going to say no to this food for you.
- This food (insert temptation) doesn’t love you- YOU’VE got to love you.
- You are a living success story- you aren’t still trying to become successful or prove to yourself you can do it, you have already become successful and now you are just living out that successful life.
- If you were on the Biggest Loser, would you be doing this/eating this?
- There is nothing you can’t do- no one can put limits on your but yourself and if you CHOOSE not to, the sky is the limit.
- You are no longer controlled by food or the desire of it. Food is fuel and that is it. YOU are truly in control now, not food.
- The fat on your body is just as serious as if there were cancer in your body- it will kill you, so take it that seriously.
- You are worth more than the temporary satisfaction that comes from something that will later make you question yourself.

I’m not quite sure I can see as clearly the common thread in these new mantras like I was able to with the old ones but I think now, I my mental struggle is more with realizing my own strength & resolve and not allowing the fear or even the question of going back to the way I was enter my mind.

 The truth, I’ve been struggling mentally. I think part of it is partially induced by hormones (aka- it’s that time of the month) but I’m craving things I never usually care for and am having a harder time saying no to things when I used to not even flinch. I’m not doing horribly by any means- shoot- I lost 4lbs last week- BUT I’m definitely in fight mode right now. And I have to let myself know that THAT’S OKAY. It’s OKAY that I’m encountering temptations, it’s okay that I’m having some unhealthy cravings, IT IS OKAY. The only thing that’s not okay is eating out of control or giving into the temptation. I need to remember that all this temptation and craving means is that I am being given another opportunity to reinforce the commitment to myself that I’ve made & the person that I’ve become.


I choose to live FREE. Free from being driven by any craving or temptation, Free from the control of food, Free from the control of negative thoughts. I am living in the FREEDOM that comes from knowing I am worth saying NO to temptations and cravings & I am WORTHY of living the healthy, fulfilled, and fit lifestyle I am enjoying at this very moment.


**Proof that I’m victorious**:


PW Weigh In: 260lbs
CW Weight In: 256lbs
Progress: -4lbs (Meaning: I am only 4 pounds away from losing 100lbs!) It's SO close I can TASTE it!

I hope all this has helped someone realize their strength lies not in fate, personality, or genetics but in the power that comes from their choices.

Have a great weekend everyone & would LOVE to hear some of the mantras you use on your raod to VICTORY!