Progress Pics: 130lbs Down Yo!

Happy Saturday All!

And what a happy one it is as I'm excited to be sharing my 6th installment of progress pictures today! I've officially lost 130lbs and since I'm posting progress pics every 20lbs down, it's that time again! Unfortunately I don't see quite as big of a difference between these pics from the ones 20lbs ago but I feel it and I guess that's all that matters. Because it would take too long to post all the pics I'm just gonna post my first ones (taken at 333lbs), my previous progress pic (taken at 244lbs) and this one. So without further adieu...

(haha, clearly I didn't have anyone there to take the pic so you'll have to excuse my attempt to fit in the pic!!)

There you have it folks- I'm trucking right along fighting the good fight every step of the way. My brain is a little too scattered right now to compose a coherent post but I promise to check back in later this week with some thoughts for ya.

(PS- MELISSA- why can't I comment on your blog my dear???? I've been trying but it won't allow me :(

Have a great weekend ya'll!

Time to FIGHT!

Hello friends!

The last two months have been a whirlwind- between being in DC for 2 weeks for work & then trying to catch up with everything at home from being away- I'm just finally getting to the place where I have a grip on life again!

Life is good but it's felt a little bit like a roller coaster lately and while I haven't gained any weight because of it, I know that I wasn't doing my best for a couple weeks. Right now I'm weighing in at 225lbs, for a total loss of 127lbs since beginning this journey 1 1/2 years ago at 352lbs! As I've shared before I have felt a little directionless since meeting my 100lb goal since I really don't know how much weight I'm trying to lose in total, and the directionlessness has unfortunately shown in the mediocrity with which I've been moving along on this journey.

Well friends, I have found myself a new goal & have since gained direction once again and I'm excited to share it with ya'll today! I want to be under 200lbs by the end of the year- meaning I have approx 12 weeks to lose 25lbs! Looking back at my progress in the last couple months I've been averaging a loss of about 1.5lbs per week, which isn't shabby but I know I can do better because I'm not doing my best to even get the 1.5lb loss. Consistantly losing 2lbs per week is not going to be easy and it's going to take me truly getting back to a place of discipline and sacrifice- something I've wandered from recently & am ready to fight for.

Now, I don't believe I've lost 25lbs in a 3 month period since the beginning of this journey but I'm going to fight tooth & nail for what I want and what I deserve- AND I DESERVE TO BE UNDER 200LBS!

How am I going to do it? The same way I've lost this 127lbs:
- Tracking everything I eat through the My Fitness Pal App.
- Staying within my 1500 calorie budget every day.
- Do 1 hour of Cardio (usually spin) 4x's per week.
- Do HIIT strength training 3x's per week under the supervision of my trainer JZ.

Simple Plan. But one that requires dedication & sacrifice- particularly through this Holiday season.

Anyone with me in finishing out 2011 STRONGER THAN EVER?

p.s. I'm only 1lb away from my next set of progress pictures so fingers crossed that I'll be sharing them in next week's post! But until then, here's a sneak peek!

This was me at the beginning of my journey 12/09           And then me 2 weeks ago in DC!

What I Eat: I'm Not Afraid!

I am definitely a big believer that weightloss is 15% exercise and 85% nutrition- and it has been living by that principle that has helped me lose 121lbs to date (today's weigh in had me at 2lbs down!)

 However, one of the most daunting tasks that has plagued me ever since I started this journey over a year and half ago was the fact that I really don't know how to cook that many meals (especially not nurtitious ones!) nor do I really care to know how- and although I've had to put my big girl pants on and learn how to cook veggies and implement new recipes, I can say that it is possible to lose weight, eat in a healthy way, and not turn into a wannabe-gourmet chef. Please hear me, if clean eating/cooking is your passion and you wouldn't dare consider eating a frozen dinner, MORE POWER TO YOU- but, that's not me and although I knew I would have to step outside of my comfort zone so that my diet didn't consist of all things white, fried, and buttery, I'm losing weight by eating in a way that is nutritious, yet realistic for MY lifestyle which (SHOCKER) often includes eating:

- Healthy Choice Meals
- Drinking Diet Soda
- Putting Creamer in my Coffee
- Enjoying SmartOnes Desserts

Maybe it's silly but for awhile I've been ashamed to admit that I still make those choices a regular part of my diet- as if I ever ate something with preservatives in it the weight would just never leave. I knew from the beginning that what I ate was going to have to change in a MAJOR way (and it HAS!) but I continue to choose my battles according to my priorities and I know that for me, monitoring my daily calorie/carb/fat intake is just what's most important in this journey right now. Ahhh- maybe no one else struggles with having no desire to cook or kick all things preserved/frozen out of their lives and feels guilty about it- but I just needed to get that off my chest and encourage anyone that feels overwhelmed by cooking and what seems to feel like an obligation to become an organic/clean eating/vegan chef/eater that IT'S OKAY, you can still lose weight if you monitor your calories/carbs/fat, keep a strict food journal, and are honest with yourself.

Ok, venting sesh over :)

And because I can be cooking challenged, one of the reasons I enjoy reading blogs is to get healthy meal ideas from other bloggers- I love seeing what you're eating and creating- so I figured I would share what my eats have been this week (yes, I pretty much eat the same thing everyday, for one week- it's what works for me!)- and you've already been warned that none of it is very culinarily impressive :) 

Dinner one night was this yummy salad! (Consisting of: romaine, spring mix, Trader Joe's reduced fat shaved parmesan, slivered almonds, and TJ's cranberry garganzola dressing (LUV!)

Lunch for this week was a new recipe I tried (pat on the back for me!); chicken fried rice! It consisted of: minute brown rice, egg whites, white meat from a rotisserie chicken, 1 bag of mixed veggie steamers, lots of garlic and garlic powder, and lite sodium soy sauce. 280 calories for a 1 1/4 cup serving! Here's an up close shot:

Nothing super fancy, but I was definitely impressed with myself and it was YUMMY. Next time I plan on trying to make a Vietnamese version with Jasmine rice and coconut milk.

This was one of my snacks this week (I usually eat 2 per day); Trader Joes pretzel slims (23 for 110 calories), with a serving of TJ's garlic hummus. Yum!

My dinner from last night: Lean Cuisine 4 cheese frozen pizza (with some mushrooms I added) and a diet Arizona green tea. 

I've just gotta keep it simple. Right now I'm staying within a 1500 calorie budget and plan to move it down to 1400 by the end of September. So, what about you guys- have any of you struggled with not caring to learn to cook or just not having the experience? Are frozen meals still a part of your diet? Psst- there's no shame if you have totally kicked them out either! 



Alright- that's all for me today! Hope everyone is kicking butt! Oh- and if you haven't gotten a chance to check out my Israel Blog Site- please do! Especially because the rest of the MULA is due today and I still have a wayyyyyyys to go! :) You can visit it at: www.youcansend.me/tiffanyhendrix

Peace out ya'll!



Beating Temptation & Israel!

Happy Friday Friends!

This week my mind has been on food. Since beginning this journey over 1.5 years ago I haven't ever really had killer cravings that I just couldn't handle (lucky, right?) and although I know there will never be any craving that comes my way that I can't handle (1 Corinthians 10:13), I certainly have had my share of close calls this week. We all know that just because we made 1 decision one day that we'd like to lose weight and become healthy that doesn't mean that suddenly our tastebuds for all things salty, sweet, and creamy go away- the 1 decision to lose weight is really just 1 of a million and is probably the easiest one you'll ever get to make on this journey.

The hard part comes when everyone else in the office is eating pound cake, ordering Chinese take out, and chowing down on fried chicken (yes, all 3 have happened at my work in just the last 2 weeks!) or when you've been "doing SO good" and just feel like rewarding yourself with a candy bar or fat/sugar filled fancy coffee drink (can you tell I'm speaking from experience here???) and it is THOSE small decisions that really is where the victory is lost or won.

SO- how do I handle what sometimes feels like cravings that are just impossible to say no to? (BTW- by cravings I'm referring to something that is not something you've PLANNED to eat and will not help you get toward your goal and live in freedom):

1) The battle here really isn't stomach vs. mind...it's really just all in our minds so that's where all of the "work" that I have to do in these situations takes place. I first ask myself a few different questions: 
- If you give into this craving, who will be in control? The food or you?
- Why are you trying to put the imprisoning handcuffs of being addicted to food back on when they did nothing but harm you before?

2) I'll remind myself of my goals (therefore it's obviously important to first have clearly defined goals!) and decide which I would rather have...that reese's peanut butter cup or the satisfaction of getting into ONEderland at the end of the year?

3) I play pretend! I know this one might seem a little strange or weird but I can't tell you how many times it's saved me from chowing down on some nachos: I pretend that I'm a contestant on the Biggest Loser and then ask msyelf what I would think of myself if I was sneaking nachos while I was on the show? I remember when Rulon was chowing down on tortilla chips last seaons and I remember thinking, "What is he doing? Doesn't he know that doing that is just going to get him right back where he started from? What is his problem?" and yet I don't think it's that big of a deal if I were to sneak some stuff I knew wasn't good for me. Just because I'm not on the biggest loser doesn't mean I'm not big enough to be or that my situation is any less serious than theirs- and even though America isn't watching me, my friends, family, and co-workers are and they need someone to inspire them and show them that they can do it to. I'm in the same boat and I need to act accordingly.

Hopefully some of my little tricks will be helpful to some of you the next time you feel like you are being hard pressed to make any form of healthy decision. However, when all else fails (even my questions, mantras, and playing pretend), I can rely on the word of God that NEVER FAILS : "No temptation has come to you that is not common to the human race; and God is faithful- He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear- but when you are tempted He will also provide a way out, so that you can stand up under the temptation." 1 Cor 10:13. Sometimes it is just comforting for me to remember that even though something may seem inevitable or unbearable, it's not- I can have control.

Also, because as I mentioned in my last post I've been on a kick of comparing pics from this years events to last year's, I thought I'd share another set; the pics below are of me from an event we do every year called Hope 4 the 'Burgh where we provide back to school items and health screening services to needy families in our community:

I'm guessing you can tell the one of me in the red is from last August and the one of me in green is from just a week or two ago. I can look at pics like this and remind myself of why making the right choices in all of the tempting situations truly is worth it.

As I head out, I did want to share about a new adventure coming up in my life- in 3 months I will be traveling with a few friends from my church to the nation of Israel. I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am about this opportunity- if any of you would be interested in learning more about the trip, why I'm going, or be intersted in helping me raise the remaining $1500 I need by next week to get there you can do it at my Israel blog site. Any help or prayers would be greatly appreciated :)

Changes that Change has Brought:

Hello there!

Wow, I feel like life is flying by! Not only because I feel like I just posted last week and it was more like last month but also because now that I've been on this journey for awhile I'm beginning to see some repeat yearly events coming and it's crazy to look at pics of myself at them last year compared to this year. Last year I destinctly remember posting pics from when my friends and I went to the Pirate game and thinking, "Wow, I'm looking really good!" and now I look at them and think, "Wow, I was really big!" See what I mean?

Right now I am officially down 119lbs (weighing in at 233lbs) and I'm truthfully beginning to reap some of the benefits and seeing many changes that come from having lost 119lbs- some that I was hoping for and are a bit more expected and other's not so much. Today I thought I'd share what some of these things with ya:

- One of the more obvious changes has had to do with clothes. I'm still generally shopping in the plus size section but instead of wearing the biggest size jeans available, I'm now comfortably wearing something around a size 18 pant and I don't really fit in any plus size shirts at all. I wouldn't say that anything has dramatically changed with my wardrobe as of yet other then that I'll actually wear short sleve shirts nowadays (still haven't quite made it there on the sleeveless tops although I'm sure I'll get there); I've also become just a tad more bit comfortable wearing dresses as showcased in this dress I wore to my bff's rehearsal dinner for her wedding:

I mean dresses definitely are still not my first pic but I'm a bit more comfortable showing my legs these days- although shorts will definitely NOT be happening anytime soon! Things I'm still looking forward to in this area with these last 40-50lbs: Wearing sleevelss tops, wearing shorts, and eventually feeling comfortable wearing a swimsuit- not sure how but I somehow avoided having to wear a swimsuit at all this summer!

- Another change has to do with the opposite sex. To put it bluntly I don't really ever remember any guy that wasn't some perv ever really expressing interest in me during my adult life; while I find this kind of sad I also know that it kept me out of a lot of trouble during my earlier years which I'm thankful for. Particularly recently, this has begun to change. I wouldn't say that it's non-stop but the fact that I've been asked out twice in the last week or so is a definite difference from how things were before. I remember always thinking that it was shallow and ridiculous for a guy to not be into me just because I was overweight but I now see things very differently. I still don't think that it's okay for someone to base their feelings for you purely based off of physical appearance but I now know that for someone to be 150+lbs overweight is evidence that there are some deeper issues that I can understand not being attractive to someone. In fact, I'm not sure how I would feel about dating someone who wast that overweight- obviously there could always be an exception but I want to marry someone that is going to make me better and that I can truly enjoy life with- not watch them slowly kill themselves with food.

- Extra skin. This is a topic that I'll be addressing more here in the near future but I've found out that having saggy loose skin is an unfortunate reality that comes along with losing an excessive amount of weight. From what I've seen everyone's body is different and it handles losing weight differently- someone may hardly have any lose skin while someone else may have an excessive amount. Again, I'll be talking about this more here in the very near future :)

- One of the changes that seem to sneak by all too easily is just how much easier the little things in life are. It has only been recently that I've had to force myself to remember how difficult turning over in bed had become, or tying my shoes, or fitting in chairs, or finding clothes that fit. Now that I've lost 119lbs I'm able to ride in an airplane with extra room in the seatbelt instead of having to use an extender, walk distances without getting winded, and just go through life without the extra struggle. In short, I feel more normal.

What are some of the great/unexpted changes you've encountered or are hoping to encounter as you go along your journey?

4 Unforseen Challenges I'm Facing...

I would say in the last 3 months I've felt a major lack of motivation towards losing weight even though I still have about 55lbs left to lose. It's shown itself in a bunch of different ways:

1) I could care less to measure myself or set goals, something I would literally anticipate so much that I'd write it down in my planner!
2) I spend SO much less time reading about health & weight loss (whether via blog, article, or magazine).
3) My fervor for working out has waned.
4) I really have no desire to try new foods or healthy recipes.

Luckily, by God's grace and the fact that so much of my healthy lifestyle has just become habit, it hasn't really stopped my weight loss or me from working out altogether- I'm currently down 112lbs and am weighing in at 240lbs, it's just that things have been feeling SO different.

Tonight, after dragging myself out the door to the most intense (and rewarding) spin class yet followed by a quick HIIT session at home, I finally decided that I needed to get to the bottom of this weird apathetic feeling towards continuing to be a bad a** at weight loss like I've always been. And again, by God's grace I feel like He (God) clued me in a little bit as to why I'm struggling right now and what I can do to change (fyi- If you haven't invited God into your weight loss journey, you really should start thinking about it- b/c He cares) and really it's all about some unforseen challenges that I never could have predicted or prepared for at the beginning stages of my weight loss b/c the challenges were different then; so here's what I realized tonight:

1) Unforseen Challenge: I lost a lot of my drive, focus, and motivation after I lost 100lbs. For over a year losing 100lbs was the one HUGE goal that I was working towards and had never even come close to attaining before, and although I knew I would still need to lose more weight after hitting a 100lb loss, I really had never given much thought or put any desire towards what my true long term goal really is. The Bible says, "without vision the people perish;" and I can definitely see that is what happened in my case. After I lost 100lbs, I kind of have been feeling directionless. I am the kind of person that needs a goal, needs to have a picture in my head (a vision) of what it is that I'm sacrificing for and working out so hard for, and I really haven't had that. Solution: I'm still not sure what my exact goal end # is (and I'm okay with that), but my goal is to be at 199lbs on December 31st b/c I want to end 2011 being completely out of the 200's- something that even now I can hardly imagine. So, that's my goal- I know it won't be easy to lose 41lbs in 5 months but I know what my best is and I believe my best is good enough to do that!

2) Unforseen Challenge: While I can't believe I haven't shared the whole long/hilarious/ridiculous story with ya'll yet, a little over 2 months ago I visited a chiropractor (just for kicks) who told me that I had some major issues with the alignment in my neck, which then caused me to not only pass out in the office but also to later throw up b/c I was so overwhelmed, and he advised me that jogging probably wasn't the best thing for me unless I was planning to get adjusted every week. For me this news was a little bit of a blow as most of you know running a 5K was kind of like my dream and I had slowly begun the C25K program and had gotten up to running for about 2minutes straight (a major accomplishment for this girl!), and so I followed his advice and decided to stop (until further notice I guess as I'm not seeing him due to $$$). Anyways, I realized tonight that one of the biggest motivating factors for me on this journey has always been when I've been able to prove to myself that I am capable of doing things I just thought were impossible- being able to see visible improvements in what I can physically do. I loved being able to go from wanting to die after jogging for 30 seconds to being able to jog for 2 minutes- it kept my fire burning, kept me encouraged by the progress. Now, my workouts consist of 2-3 spin classes per week and HIIT every other day so besides how much weight I'm able to use during HIIT, there's really not much opportunity for me to see improvement or do something new, which I believe is part of the reason I'm not feeling super motivated to workout. Solution: Well, I think it's obvious that I need to give myself opportunity to see improvements. How to do that? Eh, not really sure. Any ideas? Maybe I should consider starting to jog again? Hmmm...I'll need to think more about this one.

3) Unforseen Challenge: I really undersestimated how easy it is for me to put all of this (everything that goes along with my weight loss journey) on the back burner if I don't keep it constantly in front of me- I guess the saying "out of site, out of mind" really is true! I remember when I first began this journey (and this blog), I was astonished at how imperative it was that I always kept reading blogs or magazines or something so that I could be held accountable and be reminded of what it was that I needed to be doing. Well, since I honestly haven't been reading or writing in my own blog or doing any research on healthy recipes or anything related to weight loss, I have become disinterested with it (go figure!). Solution: I can't deny that weight loss is by no means the most important thing in my life- in fact, it's probably #4 at the highest, but that doesn't mean that I can let it fall to #20. I know the value in reading blogs & blogging and learning new things and it only makes sense to stick with what works- and this has worked for me. So, I'm gonna visit helpful blogs (hopefully that means yours!) once a week as well as post at least once a week- that's what is realistic for me right now and I still see it as helpful.

4) Unforseen Challenge: I don't remember the last time I weighed 240lbs. I mean, maybe...my freshman year of highschool (that's 10 years ago fyi!), but even then I don't really remember what life was like or what I felt like at that point. Basically what I'm saying is that I'm at the smallest I can ever really remember being at which presents 2 problems: #1) The only thing that ever even made me begin to lose weight at 352lbs was b/c doing basic everyday life things was becoming challenging, obviously not a problem I face as much anymore, and #2) I'm having a hard time envisioning what I would even look like at 180ish pounds (what I'm guessing my goal weight will be- remember I'm 5'10''!) So it's really been a challenge to keep pushing myself to desiring and working for lower and lower #'s when I guess I'm already impressed with where I am (twisted eh?). Solution: I need to start getting pictures in my mind of things that I want- and now they get to be a bit more lavish then fitting in an airplane seat, now it's one day shopping for jeans in the "normal size" section or being completely out of size 20 anything pants. I need to start dreaming again.

It really does intrigue me how the "challenges" of this journey have changed over time. At the beginning my biggest challenges were getting over my fears, self- control, and believing that I could actually have a certain life, now they are much more about perserverance and truly finishing what I've started.

My hope is that maybe someone who is at a similar place in their journey will be able to identify with one of these challenges and not feel so bad about the apathy but instead learn from it and adjust b/c the truth is- I really do care about finishing this strong, I really do know that I'm not at my best and deserve to get to where I want to go, and I do know that I'm strong enough to do it!

Hope my ramblings have benefited someone :) Any unforseen challenges that you've encountered that you care to share?

And because I feel like no post is complete without a pic, here's one of me and two of my dear friends at the drive in last weekend (loved Cars 2!)

Progress Pics: 5th Installment!

As promised, I'm posting my 5th set of progress pics! It took me so long mainly because I'm finally living on my own and don't have a roomate around to ask to snap these pics! lol Oh the unforseable problems of living alone :)

Without further adieu, my progress pics! The 1st pics are from my first set of progress pics at 333lbs (fyi- I started my journey at 352lbs though), the 2nd pic is from 20lbs ago (264lbs) and the third is me currently at 244lbs!

Be expecting a post from me later on this week, right now it's past my bedtime but I did want to post these!

Looking forward to catching up with ya'll!

Poppin In!

Hi there!

I know I've been a bad blogger, but ya'll know how busy the summer gets! Just wanted to let you know I'm still alive, record my latest weigh in and give a bit of cool news:

• Current Weight: 244lbs (weekly loss: 4lb) (total loss: 108lbs)
• 244lbs means that I'm ready for my next progress pic!!! So I promise that I'll get that posted reeeeeaaaaaaal soon and actually enter a good post :)

Happy Thursday, hope all is well with ya'll and that you're fighting the flab this summer!





What are friends for?

So, I mentioned in my last post that my best friend Erin's wedding is coming up this August and how excited I am about it, remember?

Well, last weekend I roadtripped it over a state in order to attend her bridal shower and it was the first time I had seen her in almost a year exactly as she lives on the other side of the country. Erin and I have been best friends for almost 5 years now and I can honestly say she knows me better than any other person on this planet. When she and I became friends 5 years ago I was well on my way to my heaviest weight ever, which she definitely knew me at as well.

During this weight loss journey, she has been the one person that I have never felt afraid to talk about things with. We shoot it straight with eachother and I knew that she wouldn't just tell me things to make me feel better or at the same time flatter me for no reason- she knows ME and it has been a true joy to share with her over the phone the changes that I've made more mentally than anything and for her to be able to acknowledge the change that has taken place without even seeing me has been pretty dang cool.

Anyways, besides the fact that I was super excited for her bridal shower, I was also SO pumped about her finally being able to see my weight loss progress (when she saw me last time I had lost about 40 pounds, now I was even 60 pounds lighter than that!). When I finally arrived at my destination and we were reunited I could tell how shocked and excited she was, even though she couldn't really show it since we were with her future in-laws and she knew talking about it right away would probaby embarass me, but later when we got some time alone she shared with me something that I truly never really anticipated being a part of this journey...

Besides her noticing the obvious physical differences, she said that one of the most moving parts of seeing me for the first time was that when she introduced me to her future in-laws, the thought didn't even enter her mind- "Oh, they are going to notice/judge that Tiffany is very overweight" but that they were "just going to be introduced to ME"- not me, the overweight friend, but just me.

Honestly that comment was pretty shocking to me because Erin just never made it known that it was something that she or anyone else really even thought about - Lord knows I never really thought/cared about being overweight for whatever reason! And it really just hit me that there really is so much more of an opportunity for people to just get to know ME now- not that no one did before, but I'm sure it was in the thoughts of people much more often than I will ever know.

One of the coolest things about our visit was comparing some pictures we took that weekend to the thousands of pictures we've taken over the course of our friendship (can you say photowhores?? lol). Here- take a look:

We've always enjoyed making crazy faces... 

Except the face I make now only has 1 chin :)

Here's a pic of us at what was very close to my heaviest at my college graduation:

And then one taken the day of her bridal shower:

I don't know how this sounds or what it really means, but even though I wouldn't ever want someone to be my friend just because of the way I look, the fact that Erin's friendship to me has never changed, even when I weighed 352lbs and clearly didn't love myself to much, says so much to me.

I'm continuing to work to uncover the REAL ME that has been hidden underneath layers (both physical & immaterial) and see just what I'm really all about :)



Moving from HOPING to KNOWING.

Guess what??? I'm alive!!!

I've been missing posting & reading your blogs as well- between trying to move to a new apt & a few other things, life has been full & a bit turbulent. One of the great things I've been up to happened this past weekend when I attended my best friends wedding shower! After not seeing her for a year, it was such a blessing and just what I needed. This is the dress I'll be wearing in her wedding this coming August- isn't it so super cute!?!?

I'm hoping to lose another 15lbs before her wedding the first week of August so needless to say I'm doing my best to tear the scale apart! In fact, here's this week's weigh in:

Last Week: 252lbs

This Week: 247lbs (-5lbs)

Total Loss: -105lbs

Pounds to next progress pic: 3lbs

And now, it's time to get real with ya'll:

Now that I'm continuing this journey past a 100lb loss, things have definitely changed. Since beginning this journey over a year ago, I was able to focus like a laser beam on my long term goal- to lose 100lbs- I knew I had to lose at least that and it was still a pretty lofty goal so that's what I was going for. Now that I've achieved that goal (which I am still just amazed by), I kind of find myself a little...directionless. I mean, it's obvious that I still have weight to lose- about 70 more pounds I'm guessing, but it's just kind of weird because I've never been as small as I am and truthfully have NO CLUE what I am even hoping to look like after 70 more pounds.

I talked this over with my beloved trainer JZ this past Sunday during our tri-weekly (is that even a word??lol) training session and he said something that I believe is absolutely true; he said, "Tiff- you know you can lose these 70lbs, you've already lost that + 30 lbs- these last 70lbs though will require more mental than physical effort." I guess, in short I find myself back to wondering...can I really get to a place where I am nowhere near being obese or overweight? That one day I can be completely... normal? I think somewhere deep down I always knew I could lose 100lbs, but I guess I need to take time to really focus and come to KNOW that I can do and be ANYTHING with God's strength coupled with my obedience & effort.

Everything that I've always dreamed about and never really knew if it was possible is within my reach and is even coming into reality even now and I know that I'm worth it, that I deserve it, and that I can do it.



Now What??

So- I have finally reached my first major goal on this journey- I've lost 100+ pounds. Honestly, I really hadn't ever spent much time thinking about or setting goals for anything beyond losing 100lbs- I have been focused like a missle on this goal and now I've had a week to start thinking about the future- answering the question: "Now What?"

 I still don't know what my goal weight is exactly and I don't intend on setting it until I get closer- for me I could care less about the # on the scale, it's about how healthy I am and the way I look- I'm guessing my goal weight will be somewhere between 165-185. I know that # might horrify some as a goal weight, but I'm 5'10'', don't have a small frame as it is, and am pretty muscular. SO- right now my long term goal is to get out of the 200's (which is something still pretty unfathomeable for me); meaning I am gonna be KILLING it on my way to losing the 52lbs needed to hit 199lbs.

Well, now this is where the fun begins. Why? Because reaching this new goal will be nothing like trying to reach my first. Sure, the principles are the same, the sacrifice is the same, much of my routine will be the same but now I get to do it all being able to exercise, knowing how to eat healthily, and most importantly, KNOWING that I can do it. Plus, it's just the truth that now when I lose weight, it is much more noticeable than it was when I was much heavier and it's encouraging to notice the differences. I am more focused now than ever on becoming the healthiest, most fit, hottest (channeling my inner Hannah & Olivia!) me I can be.

I'm looking forward to setting some great June goals and to soon make it into the 240's! That's about it for today folks, I would like to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who offered your congratulations on my last post- it really is great to know that many of you have been reading my blog since I weighed over 300lbs and that some of you are just coming to discover my blog now and it's serving as proof that YOU can do it to! It's a blessing to be able to inspire anyone.

Alright folks, I'm signing off with a pic of my lunch meal for this week (yes I eat the same thing for lunch every day Mon-Fri): Italian Grilled Chicken Breast & Mixed Veggies (Red onion, zucchini, squash, and mushrooms):

Peace & Love Ya'll!

101 Pounds Ago...

101 Pounds Ago...

• Tying my shoes was difficult.
• The # of restaurant chairs I couldn't fit in was increasing.
• I couldn't fly in an airplane without a seat belt extender and having the arm rest up.
• In search of control, I was being completely controlled by food.
• I wore size 28 jeans.
• I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded (and I was 23 years old!)
• I honestly doubted I would ever weigh under 300 pounds.
• I was a slave to circumstances, peer pressure, and emotional eating.
• I dreaded going to amusement parks because I couldn't fit on most of the roller coasters.
• I couldn't drive past a Starbucks without ordering a 500 calorie drink.
• I could workout on the elliptical for longer than 10 minutes without feeling like my heart would beat out of my chest.
• I had never cooked a single vegetable in my life.
• I was intensely afraid of working out at the gym.
• I was in denial of how I became obese & even that my weight was a problem.
• My weight was prohibiting me from fulfilling God's calling on my life.

Today, after losing 101 Pounds...

• I can tie my shoes with no issue.
• I can RUN up stairs without getting winded.
• I know how I became overweight and why/how I will NEVER go back.
• I have shown myself that I am not destined for diabetes and obesity, but greatness.
• I have no fear of working out at the gym and have had multiple people there mention my weight loss.
• I can fly on an airplan without using a seat belt extender.
• I am in control of food & it no longer has any hold on my life!
• I can workout on the elliptical for a limitless amount of time & have become an avid spinner.
• I now wear a size 20 jeans.
• I can go to a restaurant and fit in any chair.
• I have NO doubt that I will be in ONEderland one day soon.
• Starbucks no longer is an addiction of mine & it holds very little appeal.
• I am FREE from circumstancial or peer pressure in regards to food.
• I am one of the strongest, most resilient people I know.
• I regularly eat vegetables & have learned to cook many healthy meals.
• I KNOW that I am worth it!

This past week I lost another 2 pounds which obviously brought me straight to a 101 pound loss. I have been waiting for a LONG time to reach this goal. As I look back on my journals for the past 6 years or so, every friggin year I would set a goal to lose 100lbs and guess what? I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

And guess what? I am SO proud of myself.

Living Healthily in an Unhealthy Office!

Sacrifice.

For real, who likes to do that? Who even likes that word?

However, for most of the people in the world trying to lose weight- it is the one thing they are not willing to do on a consistant basis and causes them to live in a viscious cycle of "I'm gonna do better, I suck, I lost half a pound, I gained two pounds back" etc. Now that I'm only 1 pound away from losing 100lbs, I've found myself pondering how it is that I got here, what was it I did that actually caused me to lose 99lbs. I'm convinced that there is not just one way to lose weight- almost all the diets in the world will work if they are based off of the only principle that works: eat healthier, know what you're eating, move your body. So when people ask me how I've done it I'm always a little hesitant to say because I in no way believe that I've discovered the holy grail of diets or anything, my plan has changed as I've lost weight- but the ONE thing that has stayed consistent throughout the last year and a half that I've been on this journey is this: I've had to sacrifice.

Has it gotten easier? Um...maybe.

Sometimes I feel like work in an office of the most unhealthy eaters in Pittsburgh- no joke. Almost bi-weekly everyone our office will pitch in and have a "food day" where for the entire day everyone eats all day long and the entire office is filled with the smell of greasy-ness. Yesterday was no exception. One of my co-workers fried up about 50 pieces of fried chicken (fyi- there are only like 12 people on my floor) and everyone in our entire 6 story building could smell it and were like ravenous dogs trying to get a piece. All day long my co-workers looked at me like I was crazy for not even trying it & when I told them why they would respond with things like, "Tiffany, you've lost so much weight- one piece of chicken isn't going to hurt!" And you know what, they're probably right. But at the end of the day, they won't be the one standing on the scale feeling bad about myself when I've just maintained and on the flip side, they weren't on the scale with me yesterday morning when I lost another 3lbs. I stood alone in saying no to the chicken and I'm standing alone seeing my waistline SHRINK- not expand.

There are few feelings like the one you get when you realize you aren't controlled by food or the peer pressure surrounding food anymore. It's both liberating and empowering. Did part of me feel bad for not eating the chicken because it made me look a tad snotty and like a party pooper? Yea- a little. Was it worth me feeling bad about myself and feeding into a mindset of defeat? Nope- not even a bit. And listen to this, when I was eating my wheat crackers & hummus for a snack and everyone else was going for their second plate of pasta and fried chicken, a co-worker said, "Tiff, you are hardcore! You are my inspiration to get all of this (points to her stomach) under control." And I can promise you that THAT was more satisfying than any piece of fried meat could ever be.

Bottom line: If you want to lose weight and become the best you possible- get used to sacrificing. A lot. It will suck sometimes, but it will be worth it ALL the time.

Other Updates:

• Yesterday was weigh in day... Last Thursday: 256lbs This Thursday: 253lbs (-3lbs) Total Loss: 99lbs!!!!
• I just bought a pair of size 20 jeans. THAT is crazy. I started out in size 28's.
• I'm thinking about a cool way to celebrate my impending 100lb loss that will hopefully happen next Thursday... hmm...maybe a pedicure!

That's all friends! Do any of you have tips on how to avoid office snacking/unhealthy eating?

FIGHT MODE.

One of the things that has helped me be the most successful in this journey is my mental strength. In fact, I had never realized just how mentally strong I was until I began this journey. However, I feel like it’s important to note that mental strength isn’t something that someone is born with- it’s something that is developed through deliberate choices a person makes that either further reinforce their mental strength into a state of victory or demolishes it, causing them to live in a mental state of defeat. I believe that the battle with weight loss is fought not on the scale, treadmill, kitchen, or gym- but in the mind.



While I believe mental strength is something that comes from a series of deliberate choices, there has to be some help in being able to make those choices in the first place, for me- they are my mantras. Mantras are phrases or words that I repeat in times when I need some extra strength, focus, and motivation to make a right decision. An example of one of my most common ones is: “When I say NO to this food (or choice), I am saying YES to myself and my goals- and if I say YES to this food (or choice), I am saying NO to myself and my dreams.” For me, when I make a decision to eat something I shouldn’t, 99% of the time it is because I have allowed myself to believe that it really isn’t that big of a deal to have that cookie, chips, or bread- but these mantras cause me to remember that while the one cookie may not cause me to gain 5lbs, it is leading me down a path of mental defeat. And it is when decisions like that pile up that you find yourself a few weeks down the road 10lbs heavier (or stuck at the same weight) and feeling like a complete failure. On the flip side, when you decide that you aren’t going to say NO to yourself, your goals, and your dreams anymore because of the temporary satisfaction a chip or cookie brings, you feel proud, strong, and invincible. Nothing is worth that- and you are building that mindset of victory with every decision.

 The other day I looked back at some of the notes I had made for myself at the very beginning of this journey (96lbs ago) and I found it SO interesting how much my mantras have changed between then and now- which I believe shows growth just as much as the scale has.


My Mantras 96lbs Ago:

- I REFUSE to let FEAR cripple me and kept me fat ANY LONGER!
- I am just at the STARTING POINT.
- If I am not embarrassed for people to see me chowing down at a restaurant I shouldn’t be embarrassed for them to see me changing my health and life at the gym!
- People aren’t there waiting to judge overweight people for coming to the gym, they are there for their own workout!
- I am the ONLY ONE who is going to push me to do this!
- I will PUSH MYSELF TO THE LIMITS if I want to accomplish things I never thought possible- I will prove myself and everyone else wrong!
- If I don’t want to have to do this for the rest of my life, I’ve got to give it MY ALL!
- When I only can do a few minutes on a machine…it’s more than I did yesterday!


Reading those reminded me of just how much fear I dealt with at the beginning of this journey- I was so afraid to be judged by people at the gym, so afraid to face the facts of just how out of shape I really was, afraid that becoming this fit, thin person I desired to be wasn’t really possible. What’s amazing is that for the most part, those thoughts never even enter my mind anymore- that’s what victory will do for you.


My Mantras these days are a bit different:

- You are the only one that is going to push you to your limits- you can’t wait for someone else to, because they never will- it’s YOU. Also, no one is going to say no to this food for you.
- This food (insert temptation) doesn’t love you- YOU’VE got to love you.
- You are a living success story- you aren’t still trying to become successful or prove to yourself you can do it, you have already become successful and now you are just living out that successful life.
- If you were on the Biggest Loser, would you be doing this/eating this?
- There is nothing you can’t do- no one can put limits on your but yourself and if you CHOOSE not to, the sky is the limit.
- You are no longer controlled by food or the desire of it. Food is fuel and that is it. YOU are truly in control now, not food.
- The fat on your body is just as serious as if there were cancer in your body- it will kill you, so take it that seriously.
- You are worth more than the temporary satisfaction that comes from something that will later make you question yourself.

I’m not quite sure I can see as clearly the common thread in these new mantras like I was able to with the old ones but I think now, I my mental struggle is more with realizing my own strength & resolve and not allowing the fear or even the question of going back to the way I was enter my mind.

 The truth, I’ve been struggling mentally. I think part of it is partially induced by hormones (aka- it’s that time of the month) but I’m craving things I never usually care for and am having a harder time saying no to things when I used to not even flinch. I’m not doing horribly by any means- shoot- I lost 4lbs last week- BUT I’m definitely in fight mode right now. And I have to let myself know that THAT’S OKAY. It’s OKAY that I’m encountering temptations, it’s okay that I’m having some unhealthy cravings, IT IS OKAY. The only thing that’s not okay is eating out of control or giving into the temptation. I need to remember that all this temptation and craving means is that I am being given another opportunity to reinforce the commitment to myself that I’ve made & the person that I’ve become.


I choose to live FREE. Free from being driven by any craving or temptation, Free from the control of food, Free from the control of negative thoughts. I am living in the FREEDOM that comes from knowing I am worth saying NO to temptations and cravings & I am WORTHY of living the healthy, fulfilled, and fit lifestyle I am enjoying at this very moment.


**Proof that I’m victorious**:


PW Weigh In: 260lbs
CW Weight In: 256lbs
Progress: -4lbs (Meaning: I am only 4 pounds away from losing 100lbs!) It's SO close I can TASTE it!

I hope all this has helped someone realize their strength lies not in fate, personality, or genetics but in the power that comes from their choices.

Have a great weekend everyone & would LOVE to hear some of the mantras you use on your raod to VICTORY!

Easter Update & More!

Mornin'!

Weekend Update:
What a week it has been! As I mentioned in last week's post, last weekend we had our 2nd Annual Community Easter Egg Hunt and seriously, God did a miracle in that it was forecasted to thunderstorm all day and had been raining all week long and that day the hunt went off with sunny skies and a dry field. Simply Amazing. Anyways, I decided to post a pic of me from last year's hunt (see left) and one from this year (see right)- there are definitely better pics that are full body from last year but I just don't have access to them right now so that one will do. Happily, I see a difference :)

It was a great time and it was really cool to look back and see where I was a year ago. One fun change, last year I was wearing a TIGHT size XL t-shirt and this year,a comfortable size L! I've never been a size L in t-shirts. I also recently bought a size MEDIUM shirt from H&M :)

This weekend I also attended a super fun 30th Birthday prom that my good friend put on for his wife- it was a blast! AND- who says you never can reuse a bridesmaid dress??? Cuz I most definitely did! :)

Looking Forward:

I went into the past week (and today's weigh in), knowing that it was going to not be the most glamorous week for weight loss- because of the hunt I would hardly have any time to exercise and I also knew temptations would be abounding. Overall, I did pretty dang well in the nutrition department but the lack of exercise kind of put me in a funk.

Many parts of this journey (healthy eating, food prep, etc.) have almost become second-nature to me; which I am definitely THANKFUL for but I've also noticed that "new feeling" of making drastic life changes and the confidence that gives has worn off. It has been a long time since I've really focused on a goal or a picture of what I'm working for and I can feel that I need that back. I'm gonna take this weekend and really think about what it is that I want and what I'm working for. I guess I'm just trying to say I feel like I've lost a bit of my "vision" & thank goodness my healthy habits have kept me going through this little spurt.

Weigh In:

Last Week's Weigh In: 260lbs

This Week's Weight In: 260lbs

Result: 0 +/-

I guess I really can't be too upset due to the major lack of exercise caused by the hunt. This week though, I have every intention (starting today) of being HARDCORE & giving my VERY best and hope to come back to you next Thursday reporting I'm officially in the 250's and within a few pounds reach of joingin the 100lb lost club!

Eats:

Being that I'm trying to use up most of the food I currently have before buying more, (read: I'm a bit poor right now!) I've been coming up with some new concauctions! Omelets have been a dinner staple lately and this one was made with: liquid egg whites, mushrooms, low fat part skimm mozzarella, and red onion w/ a size of turkey bacod. DELISH! However, it has been turning into more of a scramble than an omelet- dang pans keep burning my omelets! lol

Well, that's all folks! This weekend I am looking forward to trying some new recipes that will be a little lower in carbs and adding some more fruits and veggies in my diet.

Looking forward to giving my BEST- who's with me???



Newness: Pants, Phone, Exercises, Eats & More!

Good Mornin'!

Well, it appears as though I have settled into Thursdays not only being the day that I weigh in but also the day for my weekly blog post- yay for consistency! It's been a BUSY 7 days and I'm excited to share some of the coolness with you (in organized bullet points of course!):

• First up, today's weigh in: 260lbs (-1lb from last week). I was hoping to lose 2lbs, but I'll take 1lb- I know I did everything right this past week so it's only a matter of time before I lose every single pound that I want to. I'm gonna keep on keepin' on baby! I'm officially 8lbs away from losing 100lbs so hopefully no more than another month to go!
• I got an iphone 4! For the last 8 years I swear I've either had an LG Chocolate or Envy and it was high time I finally join the smart phone revolution. When I was at the store getting ready to make the purchase I was a bit apprehensive because I seriously didn't know if I would be able to figure out how to work it! Luckily for me, it is extremely steamlined and user friendly and I REALLY like it. Bonus? Better blog pics because of the sweet camera!
• I also wanted to share a meal that I probably eat for dinner at least 3 or 4 times a week: Chicken gyoza potstickers that I get from Trader Joe's (7 for 210 calories) & asparagus. I tried asparagus for the first time in my whole life about 3 months ago and although I've never been a huge veggie fan I LURVE asparagus. Add just a little low sodium soy sauce and you've got a dinner ranging about a 250 calories!

• I briefly mentioned in my last post that I finally got the courage up to try spinning. I have always been pretty intimidated by spin classes because I've heard how difficult they are. Well, I've gone 3 times now and although it felt like I had gotten kicked in the crotch after my first class, after I bought a gel seat at Target, everything was smooth sailing! I can't even describe how much I enjoy spinning. Our spin room is very small (there are maybe 8 bikes) and it's just a time to turn out the lights, blast good music, and get a kick bum workout that is pretty mindless for you (thx to the instructor) but is legitimately fun & burns an average of 800 calories per class! I seriously think I had a smile on my face the entire class yesterday lol- partly because out of everyone in the class yesterday I was probably the one who kept up with the instructor the most and that I no longer am bound by fear or intimidation but can actually DO something I never thought I'd be fit enough to do! Man, there's only a few things that can beat that feeling. This is a pic of me after last Saturdays 7AM (yes, I am nuts) spin class!

• ( P.S. Don't ask me why I can't get the pictures to rotate when I actually upload them- I'll figure it out later! :)
• Due to the fact that I've been having co-workers TELL me it's time to get new pants (hahaha) I figured it was probably time to get new pants! lol Well, I probably spent about 3 hours in Lane Bryant on Saturday trying to find a pair of dress pants that fit- seriously- 3 hours! Needless to say, at the beginning of the shopping trip I had picked up a bunch of pants in a size 22, which is what I thought was my size. Well, by the end I was actually more between a slack size 18/20!!!!! I seriously couldn't even believe it. I truthfully think it has been 7+ years since I've been in an 18/20! However, in jeans (which I think is a more realistic size gage) I'm still a solid 22 (which coming from a size 28 still makes me happy!) Check me out cheezin!

• My lunch creation for the week is based off of what may just be my favorite meal of all time (like I seriously eat it probably 5-6 times a month), which is a Chicken Burrito Bowl from Chipotle. I could eat it probably every day- no joke. Anyways, I decided to get a little creative and try to recreate my very own version of this meal at home, so I combined: brown rice, blended black beans, corn, chicken, guacamole, and HOMEMADE salsa! Yep, I actually made salsa! It's obviously not hard, but I'm a big salsa fan & critic and I can't even believe how delicious it is- I've probably poured it on just about everything this week haha. Here's a pic of my lunch all put together:

So there you have it folks, my week!

This weekend we have our HUGE Easter Egg Hunt that I've been coordinating and planning for for months. Last year was our very first one and we had over 600 people from the community come out and this year we are expecting even more! All of the busyness will mean that I won't be working out again until Tuesday but I'm going to watch my nutrition and just do what I can! I can't wait to share pics with you all from this weekend- especially to compare them with pics of me at last year's hunt.

I hope everyone has a blessed Easter & remembers to take time out for who this Holiday is really all about :)